December 23, 2011
Is Today the Day? 0
Recent events in my life have reminded me of a Buddhist practice that requires that you ask yourself everyday, “Is today the day I die?” It might appear morbid but it’s quite the contrary.
When I ask myself that question, I feel free from the chains of the future because tomorrow it’s not promised to me. When I only think about today, I am free to enjoy the present moment.
Am I able to stay in the moment all the time? Hell no! Fear creeps in reminding me that I am powerless over people, places, and things. And how I wish I could change the way I feel!
No, I don’t want to use or drink, I ONLY want things to go MY way. Is that too much to ask? Your will and not mine…
Along with Fear, Self-pity starts yelling, “Life is not fair!” True. If it were, I would probably be in jail, dead, or living under a bridge. Self-pity doesn’t care about that though. Self-pity wants me on the ground, defeated, playing the victim card.
Once I realize that I’ve been listening to Fear and Self-pity, and not only listening but believing what they’re telling me, I scream louder, “I surrender.”
I surrender to the process, I surrender to the pain, I surrender to not knowing. I then repeat over and over in my head, “God’s got my back.”
I choose to believe that regardless of what’s going on in my life, I am going to be OK. This too shall pass…
Is today the day that I die? I don’t know but if it is, I want to go enjoying life, loving everything I have, determined to focus on all the beauty that surrounds me.
