Comments on: Self-Compassion http://www.intherooms.com/addiction/self-compassion/ Drug Addiction, Alcohol, 12 Step Recovery Thu, 09 May 2013 11:18:14 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2 By: Eve http://www.intherooms.com/addiction/self-compassion/#comment-469 Eve Sun, 21 Aug 2011 16:30:49 +0000 http://www.intherooms.com/addiction/?p=1305#comment-469 I can relate and totally agree with this article. I grew up in a dysfunctional home to say the least. I was always afraid of the scrutiny of my mother and my father. Nothing was ever done to perfection so I adapted this mentality myself. I feel I have to be punished for things I've done and this carried into my addiction well multiple addictions actually. I was a cutter to begin with. I would punish myself for my lack of perfection, I would inflict physical pain to punish myself for my alleged wrong doing. But then I discovered Alcohol, drugs and an eating disorder. If I feel I have done something wrong or immoral I would purposely starve myself, or burn myself or just get drunk to avoid both. I'm in recovery now I'm no longer drinking and drugging but I still struggle with the punishment issues. I still catch myself maybe turning the water too hot so that it hurts or "accidentally" cutting myself, convincing myself I am not hungry just to feel the pain in the pit of my stomach. I'm a self-destructive person because I have always felt inadequate and I have bought into the idea that I always will be. Things are better today, I'm going to meetings and working a program, but there is still that devil in the back of my mind, that sense of failure. I can relate and totally agree with this article. I grew up in a dysfunctional home to say the least. I was always afraid of the scrutiny of my mother and my father. Nothing was ever done to perfection so I adapted this mentality myself. I feel I have to be punished for things I’ve done and this carried into my addiction well multiple addictions actually. I was a cutter to begin with. I would punish myself for my lack of perfection, I would inflict physical pain to punish myself for my alleged wrong doing. But then I discovered Alcohol, drugs and an eating disorder. If I feel I have done something wrong or immoral I would purposely starve myself, or burn myself or just get drunk to avoid both.

I’m in recovery now I’m no longer drinking and drugging but I still struggle with the punishment issues. I still catch myself maybe turning the water too hot so that it hurts or “accidentally” cutting myself, convincing myself I am not hungry just to feel the pain in the pit of my stomach. I’m a self-destructive person because I have always felt inadequate and I have bought into the idea that I always will be.

Things are better today, I’m going to meetings and working a program, but there is still that devil in the back of my mind, that sense of failure.

]]> By: Mike Logan http://www.intherooms.com/addiction/self-compassion/#comment-467 Mike Logan Sun, 21 Aug 2011 14:50:41 +0000 http://www.intherooms.com/addiction/?p=1305#comment-467 Wow, some real similarities in our childhoods. I grew up learning how to recognize very subtle signals of anger. I thought I was very good at recognizing non-verbal signals, and it was not until many years into recovery and some failed relationships that I realized I did not know how to recognize non-verbal signals of love or how to respond to them. I had met some ladies who cared for me and I did not even know it. I still have a critical parent voice, and I have learned to use the phrase gratitude is the attitude when it comes online. When I do that, since neurons are switches, on or off, critical or grateful, I can switch the chemistry inside my body quickly. Heartmath another good tool for that. I like to schedule mistakes too. First thing, get one out of the way, and giggle. Mike Wow, some real similarities in our childhoods. I grew up learning how to recognize very subtle signals of anger. I thought I was very good at recognizing non-verbal signals, and it was not until many years into recovery and some failed relationships that I realized I did not know how to recognize non-verbal signals of love or how to respond to them. I had met some ladies who cared for me and I did not even know it. I still have a critical parent voice, and I have learned to use the phrase gratitude is the attitude when it comes online. When I do that, since neurons are switches, on or off, critical or grateful, I can switch the chemistry inside my body quickly. Heartmath another good tool for that. I like to schedule mistakes too. First thing, get one out of the way, and giggle. Mike

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