codependence

Happy (sober) New Year 0

New year. New beginnings. New chances to be me.  Explore things I never thought possible. Love, life, and everything in between. I have a love story in me that has allowed me to love another. Greatest story ever told? Hell to the yes it is! Embracing myself regardless of what’s going on?  Cranky? Yeah who [...]

Perfectionism: The New Way

Perfectionism: The New Way 2

I went to a meeting last week where they handed out candy canes with words attached to them. The words, individual to each person, served as the night’s topic. My word was perfectionism. My first reaction was just that I was no longer a perfectionist. Too easy. Once upon a time, I was a perfectionist. [...]

the red silk scarf

the red silk scarf 1

A visit to Christmas past … from days when I wore the addiction counseling hat.  Let me never forget the lessons learned in that decade.  Blessings to you and yours and remember what you “have” instead of what you “have not.” ~ Christmas was an especially difficult time for those of us in recovery and [...]

i don’t like… this meeting.

i don’t like… this meeting. 2

Ever walked into a meeting and felt like you were home? How bout the opposite? Walked into a meeting and felt unwelcomed and like you didn’t belong? Like you walked right into the middle of Recovery Clique central? Now. I know what you’re gonna say … there are no strangers only friends we haven’t met yet. [...]

Crossroads

Crossroads 4

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same ole same ole

same ole same ole 3

I don’t let people in. I don’t like women/men. Women are bitches/Only men understand me. Men aren’t emotional enough/Only women understand me. All my friends are of the opposite sex. They just ‘get’ me better. I don’t trust… not even a little bit. I’ve written about this topic at least a hundred different ways but [...]

SEX… (yes I’m shouting)

SEX… (yes I’m shouting) 3

Yup. I’m goin there. Epic “no-no”, cause of arguments, discussions, eye brow raises and 13th step jokes. Down this slippery slope I go (pun absolutely intended).  So … you wanna go for coffee after the meeting? Best recovery pick up line EVER!!! New in recovery … or even not so new. Sex can be a [...]

Self-Compassion

Self-Compassion 2

I always held myself to a higher standard than the people around me. I thought I wasn’t supposed to make mistakes. I had to foresee every possible problem and plan accordingly. I wasn’t striving for excellence, I was trying to achieve perfection. Of course, I was never able to do anything perfectly. There was always [...]

When I Grow Up, I Want to be Like My Daughter

When I Grow Up, I Want to be Like My Daughter 1

I am going to venture out a little further tonight and share something a little more personal and heart-felt. Bear with me. My children were seven and five years old when their dad and I sat them down at the kitchen table to tell them we were separating.  The three of them cried; I stayed [...]

Projecting Control

Projecting Control 0

I had an eye-opening experience this week that was one-hundred percent a lesson/mirror from my Higher Power.  I’m in the middle of working my fourth Step (a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves) and have, at times, found it difficult to see myself outside of my rose-colored glasses. Other times, I have a hard [...]