September 26, 2011
A saying that’s not really repeated nearly enough anymore in my opinion! It’s pretty simple and to the point: If you don’t do this you will die! I know when I came in I sure felt like I had already died, but was just hanging around for more abuse. The truth is we really do a number to ourselves when we are using, and we are already dead, and the steps breathe some life back into our lifeless soul.
Some people say that this is just too hard edged of an approach, but we are a hard-headed group of people. The disease of addiction gives us a learning disorder: We don’t learn things without first learning of the consequences first hand most of the time. I know I’m not just talking about myself when it comes to this either, because having similar characteristics is part of what makes addiction a disease.
I can’t count how many times I’ve seen people come back into the rooms after a relapse and express how their disease had progressed to new levels beyond their belief. Or people going to the meetings and talking up a good storm of recovery, but not doing anything else, just to not stick around after a few years eventually going back out and using. Hopefully they make it back to the rooms some day!
That’s right, because that’s the truth is if they don’t make it back into the rooms they are dead! This is a program of change, and the way we change is by working some steps. Meetings keep me in check, provide relief from the stress of coping with everyday life, and give relief from feeling like a freak compared to all the normies!
But the steps are the in-depth look at ourselves — the hammer that shatters the glass prison we’ve put around our souls. Trust me it is only glass; it does fracture quite easy. Just look at how easily offended we are. As addicts we really are quite fragile and frail with a lot of self fronts. We need a process of breaking that stuff down, shredding it beyond recognition so we can’t put humpty back together again, because we’ll try.
The steps go beyond just breaking us down though, because that really wouldn’t be worth quitting the use of drugs for real. I can break myself down pretty good while still using, and at least then I’m high. So the steps also build us back up. One the main ways is by bringing honesty out in us, so we can stop living the lie of a life we’ve been trying to live up to and couldn’t. Honesty to be free to admit who it is that we really are and be true to it. A lot of us actually learn who it is that we really are because we had totally lost who we were a long time ago.
The steps build us up spiritually, by helping to not only find a belief in a higher power, but also to bring us closer to God as we understand him. That’s also a huge thing, because most of us had lost all or most of our belief in anything good. And God was just way too good and simple for that matter, not to mention he didn’t work in my time. So through the steps we learn what God is to us, what he represents not only in our life but where we want our life to go. Someone living in faith can’t help but to adopt a whole new set of principles for their life. We draw on that new found faith for comfort from our fear. Our fears of everything from people to not being good enough to living life without the use of drugs.
I know from one of my previous posts that the “GOD” word obviously offends some people, but call it God, Allah, Judah or chair, I don’t care. The fact is that we cannot move forward in our recovery until we recognize that there is a power out there more powerful than our disease. Anything else is just sheer denial and ego run wild. And if the word god offends you then maybe you should look up the word god. You’ll see there is no mention of any particular religion or faith, just a supreme being or power. And then remember the principles of understanding, compassion and faith.
The steps are a way of opening ourselves up to a new way of life and obviously our old ways were not working or we just plain wouldn’t be here.