my daily reflections…

when i am focused on self, i aint got time to be bothered with others. much is the same when i am focused on any resentment. these two forms of spiritual disease inhibit me from any type of productive life. foh sho i may feel like im doin shit that is important to me, my ego and pride will tell me that, but the truth of the matter is that i cant receive any help from anybody or anything cause im consumed by fulfillin my own wants. hearin or sensin any insight from my HP is out of the question. as this mornins readin suggests, it is infinitely grave. i can solve nothin when i am agitated. recovery has taught me different ways to deal with emotional, psychological, and spiritual unrest. i have learned that i must go into the silence of togetherness with my HP if i am to recover when all seems lost, even for one moment. by doin this i accomplish more than by all the activities of servin self by livin my spiritual malady. faith in my HPs purpose for me isnt servin self, its gettin out of self so resentment doesnt have an opportunity to affect my thinkin or behavior. in the past, i was not only compulsive and obsessive about things i believed in but also about things i did not believe in. i was extreme. all i did was exaggerated. i either raced through life at warp speed or i was in neutral. balance was absent. today i am developin balance in my life through patience and tolerance. with simple balance i am shown a way through quiet intercommunication with my HP how to overcome resentment. a searchin and fearless moral personal inventory helps me to become aware of resentments that i must take the time to work on, positive, healthy, solutions for. the purpose of step four is not to make me feel worse; my purpose is to begin to remove my blocks to joy and love. i get to become ready to face my darker side, the side that prevents me from lovin myself and others, from lettin others love me, and from enjoyin my life. i aint gotta let fears, anger, self-pity, hurt, and shame from past events, buried feelins that may be affectin my life today, continue. this soul-searchin cleanses me and helps me feel better about myself, more than i could ever dreamt possible, even when i used alcohol to escape. with willingness, honesty, and humility, i get to establish and maintain a new order for my life because of personal inventory. 1 day @ a time...