So I just come off my 14 day “me time.” I was feeling empowered. I was feeling better about my journey THROUGH this addiction. And guess what happens? Distractions slowly, yet swiftly, start infiltrating my world. WHAT? I have spent 14 days focused and gaining strength and now this? Then it dawned on me. When we are children, our family shelters us. Spoon feeds us ONLY the information we need for our small world. Shields us from the distractions and negative elements that will cause us to veer off track (I know not everyone has this in the childhood – but hopefully you get what I am trying to convey). Then we grow up and get kicked out of the nest (so to speak). And left to either fly or crash. When you are traveling through addiction recovery you have to put on blinders, yourself. You have to walk through recovery, yourself. You have to keep yourself focused, by yourself. We have a support system but ultimately this journey is MINE (yours). No one else. They can’t do it for me (us). They can only hold me accountable and keep me encouraged. So here I am learning what my triggers are. For the first time I have clarity. After my 14 days I seem to be more in tune to what bothers me and makes me want to go back to the old “habit.” So here I am walking this journey alone (but with support). I am learning that the 12 steps, though they seem inapplicable, are completely necessary. I have healed relationships, come to terms with some relationships, and shook off some relationships. I am learning to say, “No! This (insert situation) is not a good place for me and it is a stumbling block to my recovery.” Those are difficult times because, for me, I had to let people go. My prayer is that you are able to find yourself in this journey. That you learn whom you are as never before. You learn how beautiful you are and how worthy you are. Addiction is giving up EVERYTHING for one thing. Recovery is giving up ONE thing for everything. We can do this ODAT. Sandra
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When I first seriously began MY journey I immersed myself in the program and working the steps. However, at one point I had to leave the fellowship (OA & ITR) because FOR ME I could not afford any distractions. I realized that my strength does not come from within it comes from God. I had to shut out everything except him. It was then, and only then, that I entered into this place of peace. I am now in a place where I am strong enough to help myself, yet smart enough to lean on others, & ready/able to be an encouragement to YOU (others). Recovery is a personal journey. YOU have to walk it YOUR WAY!

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