just because i made the decision and took the action to quit drinkin doesnt mean that the thinkin processes i had while doin it stopped, because they didnt. now, some of the dumb shit i did while drinkin ceased, but the thinkin that caused me to do that dumb ass shit was still there alive and well. recovery, ya’ll in the fellowship, helped me to redirect my actions which had a subtle, yet profound, affect upon my thinkin. i couldnt start in the middle, i couldnt start at the end, i had to start with step 1. i had to learn, from ya’ll, what honesty was and how i could use it in my life to make the personal changes within that would provide me the life ya’ll had. when i started to parrot the actions ya’ll were doin, my thinkin began to change. by merely doin what ya’ll did, i began to practice spiritual principles within my life that showed up in my home, my occupation, and the rest of my affairs. ya’ll showed me how to surrender, how to admit i had no control over my addiction, how to believe in a Higher Power, how to turn my life over to the care of my HP, how to begin were i was so i could make the changes within me to move toward peace of mind. i learned that i wasnt only responsible for myself, i began to feel responsible in other areas of my life as well. i learned i didnt have to take on the worlds problems, that i could have peace of mind knowin that if i did as my HP directed, i could be satisfied with my own actions, which helped me to become satisfied with my thinkin, which helped me to become satisfied that i could do what i needed to the best of my ability, bein the best person i could be. as i work toward spirituality my thinkin becomes interwoven with it. as i live with my HPs intuitive thought, His creative powers help me live and demonstrate incredible feats in my life one step further along my spiritual path. with this awareness i am able to create new ideas about spirituality and a new understandin of my daily relationship with Him. with all the behaviors ya’ll taught me, i get to continue to pause, pray, and proceed toward spiritual awareness that helps me continue the honesty within i need to grow. 1 day @ a time...
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