i cannot say exactly when i opened up completely to the concept of a relationship with my HP or when that specific spiritual awakenin happened. what i do know today is that it happened. i reckon surrender and acceptance of my alcoholism was a meager beginnin toward buildin a relationship with my HP and movin forward with my goal of recovery. today i am absolutely convinced that without Him i would not be anywhere near the place i am today, emotionally, psychologically, behaviorally, or spiritually. the surrender and acceptance i had so early in my recovery is somethin that has continually grown within and encompasses so much more than just the fact that i cannot take a drink. as ive developed ive learned and have been able to see exactly how some of the morals and lifelong characters ive carried throughout my life have been affected. openin up to the idea that i could no longer live life unless i had the guidance and direction of God has evolved and matured. even as those early days of recovery offered me the hope that it was possible to become a useful and effective human, today i understand the importance of such a small, yet impactful, spiritual awakenin i had so many years ago. it has had an effect on the rest of my life to follow. and one of the best blessins ive realized throughout this journey is that i am no longer alone. i no longer have to suffer when i use prayer to relinquish control over my obsessive need to let emotional upsets hinder and guide my behavior when i have Gods power in my life. i get to keep a calm spirit and a steady heart. these ideas have had a drastically positive affect on the values with which i get to choose to live with today. i no longer waste the valuable life, time, friends, relationships, or opportunities im blessed with. i get to be a vulnerable human bein, who doesnt have ultimate control. i have found the value of life and discovered a God of my understandin. with prayer, meditation, and dialogue, i continue to build a relationship and understandin, guided by Him, with Him and others, an understandin and empathy of my emotions and character. today i get to uncover in order to recover. 1 day @ a time...
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