if i do what i always did, then i will get what i always got. i was told, hell man, i was promised, way back in my early recovery, that if i did what was suggested, and then later what was required to be an active member of recovery, that i would have the life i have today, i would have called ya a liar and passed ya my jug or took a hit off yours. as i look back at all the shit, both before my recovery began and since it has, i am awestruck by the change i have felt within. and for me, it aint so much the house i live in, the car i drive, the job i have today, or any other of the material shit, its the relationships i have with people, my HP, and myself, and most importantly, how i feel within. surely, i remain human and feel the normal emotions as any other, but today i know i aint gotta stay stuck in em cause i have a solution that works to make be better when i choose to use it. dig this man, i dont do the shit i always used to do anymore and since i dont, i dont get in return the shit i always got. from complete defeat and weakness, havin lost my old life as a condition for findin a new one, i have been blessed to live and receive the spiritual paradox of strength in faith. i get to really live life today. i not only experience events as they pass, i get to feel them as they create memories to recall and smile over. i no longer feel empty inside; i feel the abundance of life and get to share it with others. today i not only value my life, i value life itself. as i walk this journey through life, i get to observe its beauty, experience its strength, and know i am a part of it all. my values have changed because i see myself as "part of" rather than "separate from." ive learned to respect myself so i can have respect for property, people, cultures, and my HP. what i truly value i do not pay for; what i cherish cannot be won or bought. the spirituality i get to live and grow in, is free. as those that told me early what i may expect from this thing we do, i continue to learn through twelfth step experiences that gratitude should go forward, rather than backward. havin resigned from the debatin society and havin quit botherin myself with the drama of life that i can create, my mind is like a parachute, it wont work unless its open. 1 day @ a time...
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corn fed not inbred michigan white trash...

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