my daily reflections…

in followin the concept of tradition 3 i get the opportunity to get out of self and be someone more than i ever was while out doin my dirt. early in my recovery, as my sponsor was explainin to me the idea of service, he emphasized my willingness to give of self, due to my incessant need to be selfish before my recovery began. and ya know, when he said that, i bucked immediately. i tried to goin to tell him how i was one of the most givin people id ever met. well, that opened the door for some truth from my sponsor. that opened the door for whole homemade crow humble pie eatin. tryin to digest it is a whole other story. he said if i was such a givin person i wouldnt have held my spiritual malady of resentment or self-will i had nurtured for so long. i was once again flabbergasted by the intuitive ego bustin fear of, “you dont know me”. later on, digestin our conversation, openin the door for learnin more about myself, i couldnt hide the fact that he was right. i had to fix this ego and pride character defect and shortcomin. i had to face some fears. today, i am at peace with this self-awareness. ive learned just how dishonest and wrong i had been to myself and others about servin others. i learned the only one i truly ever served was myself. recovery taught me to be willin, that whenever someone reached out for the help of the hand of recovery, that hand needed to be mine, whether they were in recovery or not. that i was to wear the world as a loose garment while bein willin to accept the world around me. that nothin in the world should seriously upset me, as long as my inner life is lived with my HP. as an alcoholic, i existed in life, but i did not live. i missed people, friendships, feelins, nature, and God. ive learned that in order to live to love and love to live, i needed to help others willingly. that the natural faculty of mind, intuition, had great survival value. that spiritual intuition was a divinin rod that helped me locate underground streams, so i could know where to be of service without havin to be asked. learnin to be more fluent with my feelins in recovery, i needed to recognize and decipher vivid messages, verbally, visually, or intuitively. today i welcome the magic of intuitive knowledge in things both large and small. i can be of service and a trusted servant because it is an aspect of the daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of my spiritual condition. it helps me to match calamity with serenity by havin willingness over willpower. 1 day @ a time...