my daily reflections…

today i am ok with bein me. i am aware of who i am and can rest in peace with this knowledge. this doesnt mean i dont try to strive to be better because, i do. im human and want nice things, but i also understand that material wealth isnt what my focus needs to be on today. sometimes the best of things may be just too much for me. ive learned throughout my life that everything comes at a cost. whether that cost is emotional, psychological, material, or financial, nothin comes for free. recovery has given me the sense to accept things today that at one time i would have never. today, i can combine initiative with humility, responsibility with thankfulness, and thus relish the joys of livin my 24-hour program. sometimes, just whatever it is, is good enough for me. but this doesnt mean i cant work toward better either. just as acceptance has given me peace of mind, it has also offered me the ability to use the skills and experience i have to move forward for the better. i can recall times before my recovery when i thought gettin the things i wanted would take me away from the things that mattered most to me. my selfishness cost me relationships, as i set myself up for unrealistic expectations, i only hurt myself causin me to have resentment for those relationships. those false ideas of what i thought others should be or do were things i couldnt even live up to myself. oh, how insidious my disease of alcoholism became. havin me think things that werent even truth. blindin me so i would accept the things that only hurt me and others more. today i can be calm, be true, and be quiet. i can live for my highest ideals. i aint gotta let myself slip back into the old ways of reactin lettin the good that is before me go for some false sense of reality. today i realize the ignorance of past days when i thought there had to be somethin better than what was right in front of me. the enemy of my spiritual life is ignorance because it stops me from realizin the strength and healin power of spirituality that has been given by God. all i need do is discover and appreciate it. when i can be happy within, strivin for better without harmin another or myself, i feel like i have won. this is my recovery, this is what ive been blessed with today. i have given myself permission to set the limits i want and need to set in my life that cultivate healthy self-boundaries. 1 day @ a time...