my daily reflections…

i get the opportunity each day to build up an endowment in serenity, peace, and happiness that puts me on a path away from fear. but it only works if i put the time and effort into cultivatin it. i reckon i wont ever be able to outgrow fear, im human and God has given me the ability to feel certain emotions so that i can judge whether or not their stimuli is beneficial or harmful; fear is one of those emotions. as it is a spiritual soul sickness when i use it to protect the negative characters within, fear can be useful, and even effective when i use it in healthy ways. one of the healthy ways i can oppose fear in my life is to use love. settin boundaries that promote a healthy balance between fear and love came to me when i learned about who and what i was through the personal inventory of step 4. when i use love to overcome fear, i get to find confirmation of my life in the good things that have come into it. ive learned through my recovery that when i see somethin wonderful in my mind, then i can change my feelins about life. this is one of the attributes of findin love in the life i get to live today. however, when i react to fear in negative ways, the opposite happens. i begin to build walls, rely on self, put myself above others, find fault with everythin, eventually pushin love and my HP out of my life. usin balance by remainin optimistic, confrontin my fears, and movin into the action of facin them with help from my HP, i am assured to grow spiritually. life, each day of it, each minute of it, is such a miracle. the flavor of my life today, the exact mix of sunshine and clouds, happiness and sadness, courage and fear, love, and loneliness, will never be the same again. i have to remain in the now and appreciate the beauty of my world and the richness of my life today so that i dont have to suffer from the spiritual soul sickness of fear. surrender, tolerance, and acceptance of what ev that comes helps with the balance between fear and love. i used to think "conditions" drove me to drink, and when i tried to correct these conditions and found that i couldnt to my entire satisfaction, fear stepped in and my drinkin went out of control. it never occurred to me that i needed to change myself to meet conditions, whatever they were. ive learned that if i want to change who i am, i need to change what i do, by changin the perception i have. 1 day @ a time...