my daily reflections…

others sharin their stories with me is how i came to believe i was an alcoholic. it wasnt what they drank, it wasnt how they did it, or necessarily the things that happened when they did. what caught my attention was how they explained to me how they felt within when they drank. surely some may have drank the same kinds of alcohol as i, some may have even drank the way i did, and some may have had some of the similar things happen to them that i did, but when they began tellin me how they felt when they drank, i began to truly feel that i was like them. the feelins they expressed to me that led up to a drink and the way alcohol made them feel after they drank rang a bell within my mind and soul. the mental torment they had put themselves through before and after sounded like my story. their sufferin was just as mine. the remorse, horror, hopelessness, futility of life, misery, and bad repute, were all emotions i had felt both before and after i drank. the refractory of their alcoholism was a suit i could wear, just as they. the sufferin i did may have sounded different, but it was the same. then they shared with me what happened, and what it was like today. they told of how the program was one of faith because they found that they must have faith in a Power greater than themselves if they were goin to get and stay sober. they mentioned that when they turned their drink problem over to God and had faith that He could give them all the strength they needed, how they had beat the drink problem. they spoke of how they became full of the promise of spiritual growth and how today their lives were full of glad promise. their stories of sufferin and recovery gave me hope that i too, could move away from doin my dirt. today it is my turn to pass on the legacies of sufferin and recovery. between the spaces of togetherness with my fellows in recovery, i get to gain an understandin of the love others give me, so i can in return, give love to others. i aint gotta demand the love i get nor do i have to be possessive of i give it. both the receivin and the givin are done freely. even when i react normally to uncertainty, i can have the faith i learned from others and the faith ive grown, to move past it. as these spiritual experiences happen in an educational way for me, i can feel my HP guidin em. today, i get to offer a positive solution to a hopeless situation. 1 day @ a time...