my daily reflections…

my sponsor taught me that i can use the 7th tradition not only as a member of my home group and the program as a whole, but in my personal life too. he said that as i grow in my recovery i would begin to retain the things i had strived for and lost through selfishness and self-centered greed. he said that if i wanted to be fully self-supportin i needed to stop lookin for the easy way out, for the free handout. he reminded me that if i wanted my recovery to work for me that it would take hard work on my behalf. he said that everythin i had sought for in the past was always only a self-gratifyin need for me to get as much as i could and not share it with anybody; holdin it over their heads in my mind makin me better than em, even if what i had received was somethin i hadnt worked for earnestly. ive learned through recovery that if i want to receive, i must give. this means to me that as my spirituality grows within, not tryina steal it from another, i must freely give it away. this doesnt mean that i go to meetins or hang out in other social gatherins always tryina get, though sometimes it may be all i can honestly do, but that when i gain the spirituality i need, i grow it by practicin it in my everyday life as i interact with the world around me. i reckon for me it has to do with a changed mindset. today, in my recoverin lifestyle, im not out lookin to get everythin i can without contributin shit. instead, i take what my HP provides me and use it to help others, not just myself. this is when i get to grow within. its not always the financial things, the material, that make me better or feel good within. sometimes its the little things in life that mean the most and offer me the largest dividends. i cant take anythin with me when i pass on. so why continue to try to get the best when all i need is to simply live within my own means. greed aint really ever done anythin for me whether it was financial or spiritual. when i live for simplicity i receive the spiritual rhythm that makes my existence come alive, and i am free from acceptin outside material wealth. i get to live with mere support of what i have within and can be happy in it. surrender to humility, in its place, is as honorable as resistance to get, especially if i have no choice. lifes lessons are simple once i give up the struggle. life will break me if i let it, it takes me courage to live with surrender and simplicity. when i begin, continue, become aware, accept, and get into action, in the face of collapse and despair, in the face of the total failure of my human resources, i find that a new power, peace, happiness, and sense of direction flow into me when i use what recovery has offered me to become fully self-supportin. 1 day @ a time...