my daily reflections…

to say i got the recovery i have today by proxy would be an accurate statement. i couldnt get recovery by readin about it, i couldnt get recovery by watchin someone else do it, i couldnt get recovery by hearin about it, i got it by doin it. surely each of the prior mentioned are helpful, but the only way i can get it and keep it, is to do it. the promises have materialized for me because i did what recovery said to do, what my sponsor suggested, and doin as my HP would have me. i dont want to ever give the impression that it was i alone that provided the recovery i have today, because trust me, if left to my own devises, my own thinkin, my own doins, if lucky, id be dead. from my own experience prior to the beginnin of my recovery, i know that buildin control over my alcoholism/addiction could have never happened without the aid of others who have the same problems. until i was able to recognize and understand the fact that i needed the help of others and was willin to go to any length to achieve success, i was continuously headed for failure. i cant do it alone. the recovery i have today is a direct result of a willingness to live the change recovery offers. it meant that i had to stop thinkin, i had to stop actin, i had to stop behavin. i had to do what i was told, for a very long while, what my sponsor asked, i mean, told me to do. i attend meetins, i read the big book, i connected with others in recovery, i pray and meditate, i live the change recovery offers. and guess what, the promises, they materialize when i do recovery. i may not do it the way another does. i may not have done it the way another did. the point is simply this, i do it. whether i want to or not, i get it by proxy from doin what i perceive is my HPs next right thing. i am content with the rewards that come from servin my HP and my fellows as i keep my expectations of the world around me low or even nonexistent. from the promises i have the courage to dance with my fears in da pale moon light. when i do, when i face me, i recover, and heal from my fears. i just gotta do the deal mannn, as a dear friend of mine says. 1 day @ a time...