my daily reflections…

if there is anybody i feel i can connect with, it is another alcoholic/addict. it has been my experience that those who have been through the self-torture of the disease and have found recovery, comin out on the other side a changed person, usin what recovery has to offer to heal, are people who understand and get the strange mental twists that happen within me that make me who and what i am. it is why a majority of the people i hang out with are people in recovery. whether they have multiple years in recovery or not, there is a common bond we share which allows me to feel comfortable around them. most of the meetins i attend are at halfway houses. it is there i am reminded of the struggles of my early recovery. i also get to offer hope to those who are experiencin the newly found life of recovery. i get to share my e.s.h. with them, lettin em know i came in just as they, confused, full of fear, and have found what they are experiencin currently, as a means to change. i get to show them how recovery works and how it can change a person. i aint tryina say i have all the answers or have experienced the same exact things they have, but the emotions that i feel are often the same as what they do. contact with newcomers and with other people who are like me offers me a reality too; they give hope, they show me how i too can overcome my fears, how i too can continue to do what recovery teaches to live a change that makes me a new and different person. when i am with those who are like me in my alcoholism, i get to live life rather than merely exist. i get to participate in life rather than be a bored spectator. i get to learn how to dream dreams and bask in the wonder of it all. it is with my friends in recovery we get to maintain our recovery, experiencin the very real pain of emotional difficulties, and learn how we can grow past em, into all kinds of terrain. we get to find strength through our shared adversity. to be very honest, i would rather go through life sober, believin i am an alcoholic, than go through life drunk, tryin to convince myself that i am not. 1 day @ a time...