today i get to live a life i did not think existed before my recovery began. i always wanted to be a part of somethin and always felt excluded from everythin. somethin within always told me i wasnt good enough to be included. through my personal inventory i learned that through personal experience from my youth, those feelins of inadequacy were why, and what, made me feel that way. i learned that those feelins hurt my own self-esteem and that they emboldened feelins of fear that encouraged self-righteousness, self-sufficiency, and poor self-image. i had become subject to my own self-defeat. through the process of the 12 steps and followin its prescribed way of solvin my personality, emotional, psychological, and spiritual problems ive learned solutions to the problems that plagued me throughout my life. ive learned that those feelins that guided and directed my own life were mostly brought on by the negative views i held of self and that recovery, this thing we do, could help me move past those wrong ways of thinkin. today i am a part of the circle that binds and holds me together. i get to take part in the 3 legacies that form the cornerstones that structurally hold the circle together. with this fellowship ive been able to discover and find the solutions that helped me to mend my spiritual malady, helpin me to straighten out both mentally and physically. freedom from the bondage of self and my fatal obsessions wasnt somethin that was intuitive, it was somethin i had to learn how to become. this thing we do, the fellowship within, and my HP, helped give me the freedom to rebuild a positive self-esteem, gave me confidence, and made me feel worthy of bein a part of somethin greater than i. i am no longer apart from, i am a part of recovery, unity, and service, i am included and encircled in the middle. 1 day @ a time...
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