if i have a fear, it is that i take that final first drink. i am an alcoholic and its my belief that if i dare to lose the relationship i have with my HP or let my spiritual malady block my communication with Him, i will quickly, thereafter, pass unto dust. i post my daily reflection in an effort to help me remain accountable to myself. its not that i hold myself higher than any other or try to think i am better than anyone else. its not done to raise a self-image so i gain some kind of superficial feelin within. it simply for me, if another gets somethin out of it, then great. if another sees somethin other than that, its on them and none of my concern. ive watched, as my years in recovery have passed, many go onto the bitter end; i dont want to go there with em. my words arent of anothers, they are of my own. by remainin vigilant, workin to overcome self and my disease of alcoholism, i remind myself each mornin that i am only here as a result of my HP and the self-awareness He has provided. i understand, from watchin others, that i am just like they when it comes to my disease. for me to hold any lurkin notion that i will become immune to my alcoholism is a one-way ticket to my end. when i can practice what ive learned is the solution to my problems in my daily affairs, i have an advantage over my alcoholism. not always do i practice the spiritual principles as i should or practice em like another, the point is that when i dont, i recognize it and amend my action, behavior, and thinkin. it doesnt make me better than another, it just makes me human. remainin humble enough to continue to be vigilant and keep a keen eye on my own recovery is a practice in perseverance. by doin this each mornin i get the opportunity to remain accountable to myself, remain forgivin, remain hopeful that i may emotionally, psychologically, and spiritually heal and grow, and continue to provide a self-love that gives from within outward toward others unconditionally. it is part of the healin that recovery, the fellowship, has shown me to do. with the practice of thoroughness and honesty, strength and courage, vigilance, and perseverance, today, i remain free, honest, open-minded, and willin. 1 day @ a time...
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