i may not have ever believed, while filled with self out doin my dirt, that anythin could happen if i prayed, meditated, and followed the dictates of what i may have perceived would be my HPs will, but today, i do. i have a faith that when i believe more deeply, even if i cannot see my HP, or even sense the strength or courage He provides, that He is there. it is with that faith i get to experience hope. and as what ev i may receive from that faith or hope, may not be, or may be, what i want, it is what i need. i am confident that God will provide me the answers i seek in His time. whether it be from intuitive reception, through another i have interaction with, or through an event in life i may experience, He will provide me an answer. it is with prior experience that i get to have the hope that He is there and will provide. even when i fail, prayin the whole time to get what i want, and my work doesnt pan out like i thought it would, my HP was there, guidin and directin the direction of the learnin experience i needed. the philosophy within recovery is that faith works, even when i cant. my task is to stay committed to the work recovery suggests, perseverin toward its better outcome usin faith and believin. if i want to live in the chaos i can create, all i gotta do is inject my will, goin at life all higgledy-piggledy, not bein focused, and watch the results i get. when i keep focused toward a balanced and structured faith, i receive my just reward. trust is born when i find i am bein helped by another person who has gone through what i am goin through. hope is born when i see another livin a sane and manageable life, or the answers they received from their faith and belief. im not alone when i face the problems of life in my recovery. those who have been in the program for years and who are enjoyin quality sobriety share their faith and hope with me, strengthenin my own. i can trust them because they know that they know. it is also a benefit to me to be with my fellow travelers just so i can live the experience of faith and belief with them. if they can have faith and belief, so can i. i am wise to use what recovery offers me so i can strengthen my belief that recovery and my HP provide me the answers to my alcoholism. i, alone, have no effective mental defense against me. i need the relationship my HP and others in recovery to help be more spiritually aware. 1 day @ a time...
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