im the greatest liar when im tellin myself my storys. creatin narratives that exacerbate the false reality or delusion i want to pretend i have and live in. but thats not what recovery teaches me to do. now its quite fine when im out tryin to do my dirt and fulfill my self-righteous selfishness, but i aint tryin to live like that today. what ive learned from recovery, from the program, is that i need to live in a present reality usin what ive learned about myself to live with peace of mind. i cannot continue to try to fool myself any longer thinkin im someone i am not nor can i try to pass that bullshit story onto others. chances are, they already know me. buildin integrity means that i accept where i am at any given moment in time. it means that i rely on my HP to guide and strengthen me when i am confused or dont know how to live the next moment. and its ok for me to feel the emotions that God gave me, i dont need to feel ashamed or try to ignore them. what i do have to do, as best as i can, is try to live the foundation ive built with my recovery as it provides me the increased emotional health and therefore spiritual progress that continues to grow. livin with the knowledge gained and with the wisdom i now have, i get to show others the spiritual experience recovery has taught me to live. growin emotionally, psychologically, behaviorally, and spiritually is not an overnight matter. i have got to remain willin to accept the world around me as it revolves and changes, just as i am evolving. adoptin a realistic humility helps to keep me focused. acceptin my present circumstances as they are, myself as i am, and the people around me as they are, is an exercise i get to profitably practice every moment of every day so i may continue to learn and grow within. perseverin, while askin for help, lets loose my need to rely totally on self. i get to remain vulnerable so i may continue to discover my adventure in my recovery journey without the delusion of illusion. 1 day @ a time...
Author

corn fed not inbred michigan white trash...

Write A Comment

Considering Recovery? Talk to a Treatment Specialist:Considering Recovery? Talk to a Treatment Specialist:888-401-1241Response time about 1 min | Response rate 100%
Who Answers?