gettin where i am today in my recovery did not happen overnight. it has taken me time to acquire the skill of the spiritual principles of recovery. i have had to practice and evolve how i use what ive learned throughout the steps. it started with crackin the door in my heart and mind open enough to let lil bits of the principles in at a time, and use them in a manner so i may see what the results would be. first and foremost, i had to be willin to be honest with myself about the place i had lived myself into, emotionally, psychologically, behaviorally, and spiritually. i remember once early in my workin career askin a quality control manager how he got the position he currently had. he simply replied, “baby steps”. man, how that same concept applies to my recovery. i can also recall my sponsor askin me to try to start my day each mornin with a time of prayer and meditation before i even left my house for work. again, the same idea applied, “baby steps”. i reckon, just tryin to do the things necessary for me to maintain my recovery so i may experience even more of what it has to offer, started as simple as doin what my sponsor suggested. i still do those very things today, without fail. now i did try startin my day without these suggestions and within no time i found myself becomin disturbed, angry, self-pityin, and frustrated, wantin to let my self-will take over instead of placin my HPs will first. lesson learned. as my recovery journey has progressed, so have i in how i perceive the world around me. there is somethin to be said for tryin to be honest, tryin to look for and see hope, and havin faith, even if its in tiny increments at a time. each of the principles have grown within me to become 1st nature. forgiveness, hope, and love, have become who i am today, instead of blame, hopelessness, and hate. i get to take responsibility for my own life, mindin my own business, and try not to be a savior for others. ive learned that fear and spirituality are not admissions of weakness; but are an opportunity for honest courage and humility. 1 day @ a time...
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