my daily reflections…

the idea of stoppin, if only for a split second, before reactin to somethin is such a novel idea, and in the past, i didnt have the capacity to do it. my ego had been so built up by my false sense of pride that i had to say my piece. over the years of my recovery, it has been a practice in pausin and askin for my HPs intuitive voice to fill my mind and heart before i go to runnin my mouth. its a practice in humility, understandin that i aint always got the answer or aint as important as i once thought i was. my sponsor told me one time long ago, its ok not to know. and ive had the experience in my recovery to gain knowledge which has enhanced my wisdom because i dont know. when i pause and ask, i dont cause myself or others near the problems i used to. often time the right thought or action is just to continue to keep my big fat mouth shut and let Gods will live the situation or circumstance as it will. and besides, what ive learned about my notion to get agitated or doubtful is clearly my self-will wantin to show its ass. and its not that i cant share my wisdom or understandin, because i should if its not gonna cause another or myself harm. and ive become accustomed to the quiet i can create when i aint so important, its liberatin. i can then hear what my HP has to say, whether in the moment, or within His time. when i pause and ask, i get to think of, and desire, that which will help, not hinder, my spiritual growth. ive also learned that before i go to judgin a person or situation, throwin in my ten cents, i should walk five miles. that way, when i do go to judgin shit, im five miles away. and another dividend to stoppin for a sec, i get to experience and am comforted by seein the good within us all, because that means i am findin more worthwhile qualities in others or within myself. the 12 steps are a manuscript for livin, and if i wanna live em, reapin the benefits of them, i have to do what they say, even when they do take bites out of my ego. i can practice honesty, humility, and integrity. 1 day @ a time...