it is my understandin that honesty is the spiritual principle of step 1 and step 5 builds upon it. it is where i get to begin to try to be honest with myself about the way my life has turned out up to the point i entered the rooms. it is where i get to try to come to terms with the conflicts ive created which kept my alcoholism alive and thrivin, continuin to break my self-will. the honest tell of my 4th step revelations are a beginnin of relievin myself of the feelin that i am a victim. it helps me to undermine the idea that im not responsible for myself or my actions. it actually provides me the opportunity to become nearer to my creator. it allows me to get anothers critical point of view which i can use to overcome my character defects and shortcomins. it is where honesty becomes more and i begin to grow integrity into a lastin character which continues to evolve and grow. its a place where i can no longer hide, my face and heart are made available for the world around me. i get to finally own my part in my emotional, psychological, behavioral, and spiritual misunderstandins and deeds. they are no longer hidden and buried. it is a freedom i get to live which allows me the ability to grow forgiveness, hope, and love for self and others. i get to try to honestly live Gods thoughts after Him, workin toward livin as He wants me to live instead of my warped way as my thoughts and actions are put out for anothers discretionary view. givin this tell is an opportunity to relive the most fearful moments of my life with an opportunity to openly work toward solutions for those fears with another so i aint gotta be trapped any longer. its an opportunity to build myself a foundation that is solid and not made of sand. i finally get to face problems with the help of another so i am less likely to avoid conflict and more likely to want to resolve it. the roots of my recovery grow deeper when i am entirely honest with another. as i become even more vulnerable and aware, i get to understand how sobriety isnt merely a gift, but grows the price of my recovery, which is eternal vigilance. 1 day @ a time...
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