this is a lesson ive gotten to learn many times throughout my recovery. i try to hold onto somethin to see if i can work my way through it. ya think i would have learned my lesson after my initial personal inventory and seein how all the shit i held onto for years caused me to develop and nurture my alcoholism. what ive learned since my early recovery is how to recognize when the shit im tryin to figure out, manipulate, and control is too much for me. it causes an uneasy feelin within which starts to have me react and behave when im interactin with others in ways they do not deserve. just cause i may be confused or frustrated does not give me the right to pass on whats goin on within to another. i had to use the spiritual principles of hope, faith, and courage, and trust in my HP, in my early recovery to move through step 4 and 5, and i still have to use those basic simple spiritual principles today. when shit becomes too much for me i must pray, askin my HP for his wisdom and strength to be willin to live through what ev im goin through, listen for His intuitive knowledge, and put it into practice, or simply just let go and let God. today i want to be responsible and in that willingness to do so, it is my obligation in tryin to live this way of life, i recognize my will when real problems start to affect my heart and mind. i must rely on God in dealin with my problems and actively try to follow His guidance in all my personal relationships. when i examine my response to problems, if i created harms to another or self, i must make the appropriate amends. this is where, when placin my shit in my HPs hands, i get to walk through fear. and as my life in recovery grows and evolves, the problems i face today, in this moment, prob wont even be a factor in 1 week or 1 year. and most def wont be when i use what recovery has taught me. if i genuinely want the gift of an untroubled mind, with an agility to walk through fear, i have to remain willin to stop creatin havoc around myself. 1 day @ a time...
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corn fed not inbred michigan white trash...

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