my daily reflections…

keepin all the shit i had dealt with throughout my life only created a much sicker individual. even as i tried desperately to outlive, outthink, and overthink, the personal problems i held so dearly to my heart and mind, believin i could find a solution to those problems, i never could. my only solution was continued alcoholism which in its turn made me a person of ill repute. they became too much for me to manage emotionally, psychologically, behaviorally, and spiritually. but i did find how alcohol helped to relieve me of me. so, i indulged. recovery taught me a way, that i still use to this day, how to overcome those detrimental and ruinous habits i developed. givin the tell of my findins in my 4th step personal inventory with step 5s ability to help me become involved in a program of inclusivity, i found a way to work toward solutions for the problems i thought nobody else needed to know about, by simply sharin em with another. with my sponsors directness, he helped me feel safe around direct, honest people. he taught me how to listen to others speak their minds, and i learned how to know where i stood with them. i learned how with the honesty, hope, faith, and courage of the prior steps, i could become someone who didnt have to feel the loneliness of alcoholism again. today i get to give up the items and thinkin within that affect me behaviorally and mentally. ive learned the importance of gettin out the shit that keeps me disturbed within. i aint gotta feel like shit any more. then, after sharin my shit, buildin trust with others, i get to further heal within by helpin others by listenin to their unhealthy and toxic character flaws and shortcomins. with this WE become free. WE get to feel a new sense of belongin! WE get to be used as a channel by Gods spirit, experiencin a collaboration that the Divine Third, our HPs, is always there to help us. i get to learn to respect people enough to let them live their lives, so i may live mine. my soul-sicknesses are uncovered in order to heal and recover. frustration, ego, anger, and resentment, though i still may suffer from each sometimes, aint gotta last too long because ive discovered and learned a new sense of belongin. 1 day @ a time...