i have what i have today because of the shit i went through before April 18, 2005. this is NOT my 1st attempt at gettin sober or recovery, it is my 4th honest attempt. my prior attempts were filled with the belief that i alone, with a lil bit of knowledge, could take what i had learned and go on about my life. in those prior attempts, there may have been surrender, acceptance, and willingness, and even honesty, unfortunately they were not filled with the humility or integrity recovery needs to take hold and stay. each one of those prior attempts are what make this attempt remain as successful as its been. they were steppin stones, or rungs on a ladder, which helped me to finally build a foundation to make my trek through the doors and into the rooms. ive been able to use my past in ways that have helped me grow into the person i am today. it took each of the failures to create a success story up to this point in my life. through each of the steps ive maintained a practice to, ive turned negatives into positives. and by no means do i want to even imply that i alone did this. its taken my HP and many trusted friends in recovery to help me do what seemed the impossible before my recovery began. even the ones who didnt make it are blessins for me to recognize as i look back over the years. for it is they who showed me what i have to look forward to if i dont use what ive been gifted to make this thing we do work in my life. if i continue to remain open to givin the tell of my character defects and shortcomins, hopin that others can benefit from my story more than i, i get an opportunity to continue to live a life of riches that help me emotionally, psychologically, behaviorally, and spiritually. it is only through and attitude of intolerance or belligerent denial, that i may be self-defeated. i aint gotta let the demons of my past cause me doubt, fear, and the urge for self-sabotage, emotions that arent unusual when i begin experiencin profound changes for the good, cause me to neglect such positive change like the presence in my life, of love, success, growth, abundance, and recovery expected for myself when i live as my HP and recovery guide me toward. it is the highest form of self-respect to admit mistakes and to make the accountable actions of amends for them, even if they are toward myself. 1 day @ a time...
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corn fed not inbred michigan white trash...

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