my daily reflections…

ive always had a sense of somethin within that directed me which way i should move or which action i should take. i learned through the process of the personal moral inventory in step 4, whether or not i paid much attention to it, had to do with my self-will. if the feelin within didnt coincide with what i wanted then it was quickly tossed aside or dismissed, and i proceeded forward with my will. havin been taught what, and who, God was in my youth, i felt i could never live up to what i thought were the demands of His will and guidance. i thought i had to be perfect. it wasnt til i came into the rooms, listened to others conceptions, asked questions, and started to work and live the process of the steps that i made a decision, then the action, to pay attention to that lil voice within. today, i know i should follow it if it causes me alarm or goes in direct contrast to my self-will. though i cannot say what Gods will is definitively, i do have a conscious of what i perceive it is. i had to make that diligent search within to find a conception of what my HP was and what it meant to me. and it wasnt hard for me to fall back on the understandin of Him from my youth, i just had to be willin enough to become open-minded so i could understand how my own direction had caused me the confusion of decision back then. ive learned i aint gotta be perfect to have a conception of a Power greater than myself. ive learned i can live with my humanness, make mistakes, learn from them, reboot, and try better the next time. with recovery ive been given another chance to live. im allowed to be human, not perfect. the thought of a Power greater than myself summons help to conquer my faults and mistakes i make. ive learned when i carry my thoughts away from material things, away from self, and toward the spiritual things that make life worthwhile, i get to experience the freedom of peace of mind. i get to experience the courage the program has provided me with to remain humble enough to experience His inner guidance grantin peace within. i get to use His direction for fellowship, faith, and service. somethin i couldve never had done before my recovery began. today, ive developed the feelin of bein led by God for peace of mind, happiness, and joy. i get to experience the gift of an untroubled mind. 1 day @ a time...