my daily reflections…

the best way i conceive to continue to receive the gifts ive gotten, freedom, subsided regrets, a found serenity, value in my experience, the disappearance of self-pity, an interest of others, altruism, a better outlook, lessened fear, an ability to cope, growin spirituality, and the evolution of many more promises through the practice of their theory, is to keep livin what ive learned through recovery. if i can do this, i will get to keep livin a life that forms healthy relationships with others and rebuilds ones i may have destroyed while doin my dirt. my initial personal moral inventory, or my initial 8th step list werent easy things to do. they were both dives into who and what i had become. the shit i had found wasnt easy to swallow. the behaviors i had to own up to, exactly how i felt i harmed others, and the destruction of the person i was, left me empty. if it hadnt been for the steps, that preceded or surrounded em, i couldnt have, on my own will power, thought of those lists, written shit down, and later owned my part in any of it. it was, in its easiest words, a clean sweep, though not as pretty lookin as one may think. i had to fight deeply rooted personality morals and values i had honed and nurtured all my life. that second honest look, the 8th step, an even deeper dive into unhealthy behaviors and thinkin, was tough mannn. it was where i was able to see how i used piss poor behavior & thinkin, character flaws, and shit i shouldve been doin but wasnt, to harm others and myself. today im grateful for that early look into joel and the several ive done since. ive gotten to turn my life around and use those things i wrote earlier in this personal daily reflection to live the change and add those qualitys to my life so i get to remain recovered. today i get to have the ability to make a difference by speakin simple words of encouragement to others and myself, because of those early times of recovery. i must face everythin and recover, i cannot mend if i bend the truth. isnt brotherly love such a beautiful thing? makin real progress toward a better life, allows me the ability to keep growin and be satisfied with my present state, and still never become complacent. 1 day @ a time...