my daily reflections…

i had to follow through with the twelve spiritual principles in the order they were written. i couldnt pick and choose which step fit my fancy first or third or twelfth, i needed to do them in the order they are written. it was the first time in my life i had ever followed directions. it was suggested through the steps, then became mandatory, that if i ever wanted to stop the cycle of self-destruction i had been so used to livin, that i follow through each step alongside my sponsor. i had tried in a prior attempt at gettin sober to just read the steps and do them without guidance; my ego would not allow me to ask for help. that attempt ended up in another drink. peace of mind wasnt gained because i didnt fully believe in a HP, nor that i truly needed any help from another. surprise, surprise. this time i had learned my lesson, i had to follow through, and i had to follow rules. if tellin another all my shit while out doin my dirt meant i would, and could, get sober, and stay that way, i had to do it. the days of doin my dirt, livin with unhealthy prideful ideations, and egotistical delusions, were over. if i wanted what the others had, i had to do what they did. today i understand what it means to be honest, i get how open-mindedness can broaden my horizons, and believe willingness works for a healthy, sound, and sane, character. i understand this today because i humbled myself, told my deepest darkest demons and secrets to another, my sponsor. as he guided me along the path that was my personal journey into recovery, i learned how to lean on my HP. i learned how to further humble myself so i could make the amends i needed as rightly as i could. justice didnt come before honesty, open-mindedness, or willingness, it didnt come before faith, integrity, or brotherly love, it didnt come before hope, courage, or integrity, it came after each of these. surrender didnt come after perseverance, spiritual awareness, or service, justice came before. peace of mind was the result of follow through for me. discipline, responsibility, and justice was a part of it. when i walk with God, He meets me at the Steps with peace of mind. 1 day @ a time…