the lessons i learned through personal inventorys, and steps 5,6, 7 & 9, have helped me to maintain relationships with those important in my life. relationships have gotten better as ive worked on lettin loose the preconceived, selfish, ideas of manipulation and demands. important to the rebuildin of the relationships of those i love, are the relationships ive built in this thing we do. recovery has given me the ability to let loose of the expectations i used to try to cast upon others and could never live up to myself. it has been my experience that the fellowship of recovery i choose to follow, and be a part of, surrounds me where ev i go. what i need to do if i want to be a part of it is be responsible toward my own recovery. what i love about recovery is that where ev i am, if im willin to be honest and open, i get to be a part of it. even when im not quite up to par, all i hafta do is have the courage to voice how im feelin emotionally or where im at psychologically, and i get a whole host of others who will stand beside me through what ev im goin through. and i get to reciprocate that same sentiment to others when they are strugglin too. these actions and behaviors help me in my life outside the rooms away from the fellowship as well. ive lived the loneliness, hopelessness, and desperation of my alcoholism, i recall what it was like. the only reason to live in it again is to fulfill an unhealthy self-pity or selfishness. aint nobody got time foh dat shit today. i get to be a part of, not apart from, today. when i try to make my life like a cool river in a thirsty land, i get to give freely to all who ask my help. whether in the fellowship or not. when i examine my response to problems, i get to use solutions from the fellowship, so i dont try to create problems that cannot be solved at the same level of awareness that created them. as i continue to commit myself to the healin transformation of recovery, i get to share my journey with others. i get to use the patience, understandin, tolerance ive been taught through the fellowship to be carin rather than judgmental. today i get to stand together with others in our common bond to live a common solution. 1 day @ a time...
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