my daily reflections…

acceptance was important for me. to begin the process of recovery and healin, i needed to surrender ego & pride in wantin to do things on my own terms. this surrender allowed me to accept that i couldnt do recovery, or even live life on my own. i wanted to be free of fear but i couldnt do it on my own. the only way i knew to defeat the fear i had was to drink it into oblivion. and it worked very well for me, for an exceptionally long time. and to be honest, in that time i only succeeded in creatin a tornado that swirled enough to blow relationships away. i even lost the relationship i had with myself. surrenderin to my alcoholism gave me the ability to accept my lot. when i accepted i was the one who had taken me to the places i had come to, i could finally begin to let loose the ego and pride, held so deeply within, and listen to those around me in the rooms. they had an answer and it wasnt like any answer i couldve ever dreamed up. they were free from fear without alcohol. how did they do it, i had to know. acceptance helped me learn how to nurture peace of mind. when i could stop the itty-bitty shitty committee that never shut up in my head, allowin the words and guidance of the ones who had what i wanted to sink in, i grew peace of mind without the use of alcohol. i was able to start buildin relationships with others, myself, and my HP. faith in my HP took away my fear because i had surrendered my will. what an opportunity. now, i aint even gonna try to tell ya’ll i dont get fearful today because i do. today, when fear strikes me, i have a dif way to deal with it, without alcohol. its simple faith through surrender and acceptance. its that simple. ive found that freedom from fear is more important than freedom from wantin to be free of fear. when i try to live the right way, with faith, i get to follow the path that leads to a better life away from fear. acceptance helped me gain an understandin that God was present within my life. this awareness became a motivation to create success in my life, which helped me use faith to conquer my fears. i learned action without prayer is self-reliance. that fear and shame held me back, held me down, and kept me starin at my feet. 1 day @ a time...