my daily reflections…

the idea of usin the group as a HP until i could form and develop a HP of my own conception was offered to me in the very early weeks of my recovery by my sponsor. i cannot say that i immediately started usin this idea, but as my sponsor and i discussed what had brought me to the rooms to begin with, i was able to begin understandin that a life ran purely on self-will, is what took me to the place i was emotionally, psychologically, behaviorally, physically, and spiritually. as time went on, i could see how the decisions i had made and concepts i had lived by were due to the experiences i had had. so, until i could develop a relationship with an HP of my own conception, i used my sponsors idea. acceptance was a gradual surrender of how i, alone, had caused much of the problems in my life. it wasnt just bad timin or bad luck. i had set in motion much of the dismay in my life and havin lived for so long with such deeply rooted beliefs, i had allowed my self-centered fear and alcoholism to essentially brainwash me into believin that i was the only master of my domain. i had to evaluate the theory of acceptance to move forward. as i did this, surrender and acceptance, helped me to understand that, maybe, just maybe, those in the rooms were correct. they had done this seemingly arduous process, and if they could do it, maybe i could too. i needed to become responsible, so workin at becomin willin to believe was my task. it was at the moment i was able to accept these facts fully, my release from the alcohol compulsion had begun. i began to find happiness in doin this next right thing called recovery. i began to find satisfaction in practicin & obeyin spiritual principles & laws, along with the justice of step 9. acceptance showed me how my world was in a state of chaos. today, i get to live less violent, less aggressive, and less hostile than in the past. i get to be more liberated, respect is growin, and the world is becomin a better place to live. i get to prefer freedom, i aint gotta avoid becomin a responsible person. hope had lead me to acceptance and then to faith. today, i get to forward all issues to Him acceptin liberty for a good emotional, psychological, behavioral, and spiritual health within. 1 day @ a time...