my daily reflections…

this mornins daily gives me hope. when i was finally able to start relyin on my HP in my early recovery, i found that life got much easier. it didnt happen overnight, it took time. but as i freed myself of the burdens i carried, i could see how they had weighed me down. makin the amends i needed to make was helped along by the acceptance that i could no longer live my life on my own will power. it was all a part of the humblin process for me. lettin loose the fear, anger, and hate, seemed to open me up to experiencin more of what recovery had to offer. i couldve never done this without buildin such a crucial relationship. not only was i to benefit from such an open line of communication, but others around me did too. especially the ones who deserved the justice of step 9. with my HP as a guide, i became responsible enough to accept the consequences i had ran from for years. ive heard it said, "what makes humility so desirable is the marvelous thing it does to us; it creates in us a capacity for the closest possible intimacy with God.” and how true it was in my early recovery. its even became even more evident as my time in recovery has progressed. ive learned that humility is not so much about tryin to be good as acceptin that i am imperfect. for too long i lived the delusion that everybody else was wrong. the only one who did things right, was me. the steps showed me, then taught me, just how my ego and pride had guided me toward an inner hurt i alone could not fix. i needed my HPs guidance through my sponsor. its been my experience when i reach out for the exceptional, wholesome, and honest good, i get to choose the best in life. today i get to come out and play. havin fun and lettin go of the rigid personas, i used to try to live by, is as important to recovery as lovin relationships. i get to enjoy the relationships i have in, and out of, recovery today. with tolerance, understandin, fairness, and forgiveness i get to be free from the prisoner of my own resentments. self-forgiveness unlocked the door and set me free. my HP guides me toward the lessons i need for freedom from self. 1 day @ a time...