my daily reflections…

after a few meetins with my sponsor and listenin to his story, seein how the emotions he explained, and some of the situations he had experienced were identifiable and relatable, he asked me, do ya think ya are an alcoholic? or are you one of the exceptions? he asked me to not answer but take the time as i sat in meetins to listen to others stories. he asked me to see if some of the emotions they had experienced were ones i had too. he asked me to try to identify situations in others stories that were relatable to my own experience. now, by this time in my recovery i had been doin this thing we do for a couple of months. it was all in a sort of trainin for the further inventory of step 8 and the justice of step 9 amends i would be makin. it was the process of breakin ego & pride, and learnin how humility could allow me to use what i was learnin to move forward with my recovery. i had to become vulnerable to my own resentment, selfishness, and self-pity. i had to understand and know that these character flaws would only grow if i didnt do somethin about em. the steps were the solution to these personal problems. when i could see how others had worked through their problems, i found i could use what they had to overcome mine. acceptance, preceded by surrender, allowed me to see how i had allowed my alcoholism to keep me blind to the actions, behaviors, and thinkin that kept me harmin others. i wasnt an exception, i wasnt the rule, i was just another alcoholic that needed help. today i get to look for real answers, not just temporary relief, and sometimes only stillness will do. this is the only way i know to fully tap into my intuition, that place inside where God, whatever God is, lives. i get to ask His guidance, i get to use my story to help others as others had done for me. i get to look into the mirror of my life and use willingness over willpower. i get to see how quiet times in reflection can inspire my journey today. i get to be prepared for a new direction if that feels right. i dont get to be the exception. 1 day @ a time...