my daily reflections…

today i feel that unexpected inner resource and i get to allow it to flow through me as i live it in my daily life. as i think back, before my recovery began, i can recall feelin this inner intuition i always thought was my, own, acuity. i had always thought this inner intelligence was a gift which helped me get along in life. i learned through recovery that even though i may have been an intelligent, perceptual individual, i had allowed myself to fall prey to this inner conception that i was smarter than others. i learned it was ego that always urged me to continue this type of thinkin and behavior. i kept this ability to perceive, for myself, never tryin to share it with another. havin inventoried these ideas and, so-thought, self-knowledge, over the years ive come to understand this inner resource is not some kind of secret knowledge only known to self, it is, as i believe today, my HP guidin me toward right action. in the past i would always push that good sense down, acceptin it as my own intelligence, but today, i understand it as my HP. it is an inner resource i misappropriated throughout the days of doin my dirt. today i get to use it as i perceive my HP intends. ive heard recently that my fears always used to be acted out upon with the emotion of anger helpin me to multiply the problems i have with my alcoholism. i was enlightened when the follow up was to use those emotions that always used to keep me trapped, to always be a lil kinder than necessary which helps to remove the selfishness i can tend to have. when im honest with myself about the world around me i get to live the change, forgiveness, hope, and love recovery has taught me to live and give. its usually not me, but through time, recovery and my HP have changed my emotional, psychological, behavioral, and spiritual thinkin and action. 1 day @ a time...