my daily reflections…

if it werent fer the gift of desperation i do not think i would have experienced the gift of willingness. my life had tumbled into complete nothingness; i had no desire to want anythin anymore. it seemed as if my life was meant fer nothin more than to die a miserable alcoholic death, i will never forget this, the mirror said it all. after watchin others fer a brief time at the step house start to live their lives happy, joyous, and free i began to see God workin in their lives. i had some idea that if i genuinely wanted the same i had to start havin faith that He could if i would let Him. today i am overfilled with a willingness to let Him lead my path. before i had my 1st meetin with my sponsor he asked me to read the dr.’s opinion before we met. when the day came fer us to meet he asked if i had read the chapter. i told him i had already read the book a couple of times while in jail and that though its ideas seemed totally impressive, what i really wanted was to get sober. he stopped, looked at me, and said, joel, this is how i got sober; these are the steps i took. what a lesson fer me to learn, followin anothers direction. that evenin we read the dr.’s opinion together on the front porch of the recovery house i was livin in. i think back on that experience often and am grateful he had the courage to continue sittin there with me that evenin to read the chapter. today, 18 years later, mike is still someone i can call upon when i feel like i need anothers honest opinion. he has continued to walk alongside me as i have taken the upward path through recovery. 1 day @ time…