i get to live a certain liberation and strength today. though i may still struggle with surrender, the surrender i learned in my early recovery from utter defeat, helps me with the surrender i must practice today. as i get to live my humanness im still a person who lives by self-will to an extent....

fer a time in my early recovery, i did not know if i would go back to doin my dirt. the thought was loomin fer months; the goose hung high. i recall the drinkin dreams, and they came hard, and strong. they always seemed so real, like they had happened in reality. as my time...

Today was not so hard. I didn't cry, though I felt a little sad. I took a 4 hour nap which helped me a lot. I feel like my friend and I are bonding more and more, day by day, which is very nice. It's good to have someone by my side through this difficult...

gettin sober was a big thing fer me. within a short amount of time the chaos that surrounded me settled down. i found the less i caused it, the less there was. it was an amazin feelin. unfortunately, even as shit settled, i still had to contend with me; my mind still raced. i couldnt...

i remember comin into the rooms and thinkin how could i be powerless; how could my life be unmanageable. as i stayed sober and listened and learned, i began to understand what powerlessness and unmanageability were. it came down to learnin an understandin of self-honesty first. i had been so used to story tellin myself...

sobriety was a nice beginnin to stoppin the chaos goin on outside of me. it seemed, with a clear head i had more time to think. and that was were mere sobriety ended as a means of peace. loneliness and desperation soon filled my mind leadin straight to guilt, remorse, self-pity, and an even worse...

I recently lost my best friend due to my drinking. I told her I'd stop and I didn't. The heartache feels too much to bare. I'm trying my best to move on but I'm hurting so badly, all I want to do is drink. I keep losing the fight to stay sober. I'm so afraid...

Temptations were too much last night. I drank. I got up this morning, got a glimpse of just how much I drank last night. Reflecting on it, I should've talked to someone but I didn't want to bother anybody on New Years Eve. I should've spent my time with a group of people that could've...

today i get to live a calmness to a life lived in gratitude, a quiet joy. i have cause fer celebration. even as this past year has brought many struggles, i must remember that i am still here and stronger than ever before. one way to keep the channel open and to improve my conscious...

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