Triggers for sexual addiction are the thoughts and feelings that set the cycle of sex addiction in motion. There are two main types of sex addiction triggers – internal and external – and both can be incredibly powerful.
- Internal triggers are uncomfortable emotions, feelings, and experiences such as boredom, shame, depression, anger, anxiety, guilt, fear, disappointment, loneliness, etc.
- External triggers are people, places, things, and/or events that induce thoughts of sexual acting out – seeing an old affair partner, driving past a strip club, watching a sex scene in a movie, having a couple of cocktails in a bar, seeing an attractive person at the mall, etc.
Note: Not all triggers are negative in nature. Success and happiness can also create a desire to act out. Usually this is because the addict wants to “celebrate” with a sexual reward, though sometimes sex addicts simply feel entitled because things are going so well.
Common internal triggers for sex addiction include (but are by no means limited to) the following:
- Boredom
- Anxiety
- Unresolved resentments
- Anger
- Loneliness
- Shame
- Stress
- Sadness
- Depression
- Frustration
- Fear
Common external triggers for sex addiction include (but are not limited to) the following:
- Unstructured free time
- Losses and tragedies (especially if/when these are unexpected)
- Traveling (especially alone)
- Drug and alcohol use
- Exposure to sexual stimuli (especially if/when this is unexpected), such as driving past a sexy billboard, seeing an old acting out partner, meeting an attractive person, etc.
- Arguments (with anyone)
- Other people not behaving the way you think they should
- Reprimands (especially from a loved one or an authority figure, like an employer)
- Relationship issues
- Trouble within the family (like a child struggling at school)
- Significant life changes – job, finances, relocation, etc.
In truth, almost anything can be a trigger toward sexual addiction. Even memories can be triggers. For instance, if a sex addict’s boss looks at one of his or her coworkers crossly, this might remind the addict of an abusive parent, bringing past emotional discomfort to the surface – fear, anger, shame, etc. So the addict is triggered even though his or her boss’s has nothing whatsoever to do with the addict. It is the memory of past abuse that triggers the addiction, rather than anything occurring in the moment.
Needless to say, triggers are unavoidable in today’s stressed out, super-sexualized world. For starters, sex addicts
2 Comments
What would be a healthy ways to deal with these trigger?
I really botched that sentence.