today when i am tryna run the show, arrangin everythin to my taste, makin sure that im happy with shit, not thinkin of how my efforts are gonna help another, but only myself, i get blocked from the grace and guidance of my HP. and of course, what usually happens, the show dont come off...

there are still times today i want what i want to get done the way i want it done. the difference from the days of doin my dirt and today is that i consider what it is im askin for. i consider the effect or outcome. i look to see if what it is i...

My Program = Drinking and drugging, causing massive harm to others and myself. Not giving two shits about myself or anyone else. AA Program = A new way of life as a result of living and working the steps and practicing principles in all our affairs, having had a Spiritual Awakening as a result of...

idk if i hit the last bottom ill have when i came into the rooms this last time. i do know that it was purdy fuckin bad. it struck me hard enough to make me wanna try to practice this recovery program. when i came into the rooms i didnt know if what the program...

for me to deny today the power of God in my life would be straight up story tellin. not only has the relationship i have built with my HP grown since my time in recovery began, but my interest in seein the works that happen around me as i live my life daily have also...

when i honestly look at the past i created i get scared, i dont want to see it. it arises memories and emotions that i want to forget about. they hurt me and make me want to clam up and shut down. they are intimidatin and make me feel the self-pity and shame that want...

one of the reasons i write these every day is because i have seen others who did not take their alcoholism seriously, thinkin they had learned enough, or their alcoholism was so strong they couldnt submit, go on to the bitter end. idk if i was born an alcoholic, but i do know that over...

its always been one of the hardest things for me to do, accept self. without this seemingly simple exercise, i am unable to see beyond me, my circumstances, or out toward others. when i am bound to unacceptance of self, nothin stands a chance of gainin it. it seemed i always turned my unacceptance of...

if there is only one thing in my recovery, i have done perfectly it is the admission to others, my HP, and most importantly, self, that i am an alcoholic, powerless over the certain unmanageability it causes within my life. what makes me successful in this admission is the fact that i havent taken one...

even if i was to say i struggled with the idea of understandin that i was an alcoholic way before i entered the rooms, and even after i had, i didnt fully understand until i went through “more about alcoholism” in the big book with my sponsor. obviously before i came into the rooms i...

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