I’m Dustin, and this is an extremely important endeavor for me because this is something that is very close to my heart. Gambling took a toll on my life and those around me for over 8 years. My family, my friends, my coworkers, my wife, my child all suffered from my addiction. For many years I didn’t even realize that I was hurting anyone let alone myself. I saw it as just a little fun and a little action or excitement. As the debt mounted and my gambling continued to spiral out of control I was finally confronted with the fact that I did have a serious problem. I finally succumbed to the gambling addiction and checked myself into rehab. After weeks of rehab, years of counseling, and GA meetings I have developed a deeper understanding of my addiction, a greater sense of my higher power and faith, and a desire to help others fighting similar battles. It is my hope that this meeting and continued involvement on www.itherooms.com will help us as a family fight this battle that we are facing and know that we are not alone.
Gamblers Anonymous (GA) is a twelve-step program for people who have a gambling problem. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop gambling. This is a compulsion or addiction which may be associated with financial insecurity, dysfunctional families, legal problems, employment difficulties, psychological distress and higher rates of suicide and attempted suicide.
We are excited here at InTheRooms to be offering an online video meeting for GA on Wednesday nights from 10pm-11pm. This meeting will officially be a topic meeting where a topic or a set of topics is chosen either by the chairperson or by other viewers and these topics will be discussed. People that are willing to share about the topic will receive a 2 minute time frame to discuss. We will look to adhere to the time frame in order to make sure all topics are discussed and given adequate due diligence and all members are respected.
Gambling is a serious addiction that we take seriously. We are beginning these meetings weekly in hopes of encouraging, uplifting, and confronting our problems and issues as well as our successes and failures. We believe that together we are stronger. Thank you all and we look forward to seeing you with us on Wednesday nights at 10pm EST.
63 Comments
I quit gambling for almost 3 years. I was just 3 weeks away from 3 years when I went out again. There are a lot of “motivating” factors to why this occurred, but I don’t want to make excuses. The thing is, and I’m sure you know it -It’s worse the second time around. If you have been in any 12 step programs (double winner, here) you know that it is always said -Your addiction is always just dormant, getting stronger. That when you go back out, you pick up as if you never stopped. The progressive nature of out illness wins out. Sure, it is crazy. The whole definition of insanity that we’ve all heard dozens of times. Here’s the thing- Our sickness doesn’t care! We want what we want, and that is to do damage to ourselves, all the while that we “love’ gambling. Seeking out the high highs, and devastatingly low lows. We become numb to the thrill, yet still, we seek it. Hour after hour only wanting to “win back” what you may have already lost…and then ABRACADABRA! You do. And then -hey! Your luck has changed. You can’t leave now! Maybe you can get back what you lost LAST night! Soooo, you keep on playing. Because that’s what we do. We are compulsive gamblers. Without the ability to resist “what is good for us”. With this driving NEED, and yes, it is a need, to go to the casino and be with “our people”. You go in there, and with rare exception, no one is smiling. The sick thing is -you feel at home…This is where I belong. Why fight it? Yet, that is what all of this 12 step and GA stuff is about. WE GET EACH OTHER. No one else can understand. That is why it works. I don’t kid myself. I know I am deep in the throes of a lethal addiction. This is a vent and a cautionary tale. If you are managing to be abstinent and using a one day at a time approach. Kudos! Don’t give up, don’t give in…Because, -like most monsters, -our disease is lurking in the dark, just waiting for you to let it out of it’s cage. Here’s the thing -you are the one with the key and what mad person would uncage the beast? None other than me. I let it out and now it is roaming voraciously. If any of this sounds familiar to you, know -you are not alone! There are people RIGHT HERE who will help you. Love and peace, ~atticus
Thank you for that post. I am a compulsive gambler. I was clean for a few years but have been right back at it for a number of years again. I almost died once from this insidious disease. I don’t want to die as a compulsive gambler. There are no meetings in my area so I really need the online meeting.
So glad it’s helped.
Im three years into compulsive gambling…it feels like my head is messed up…i dont understand why i cant stop…i quit drinking 9 months ago…now my ddiction to alcohol turned into gambling.. Im on anxiety pills that say compulsive gambling is a side effect…do i change my medocation???
I need help need to know how to get to a zoom meeting from gaming
Please check out https://gamblersinrecovery.com/. They offer worldwide online recovery meetings.
I am a compulsive addictive gambler..that has gotten completely out of control. I too am a double dipper in the 12 step program and I am so frustrated that I can’t kick this insane addiction. Everything in your post is exactly how I/we feel. Don’t place the first bet…I have not made it longer than a month for past two years. Win to lose or keep losing to win.. then I can’t wait to get back. Madness… I’m trying to find online meeting as there are no meetings within 100 miles of where I live. I don’t know how to go about it.. this is my work email and private. So not sure what to do
Hi there. I’m hoping someone from the GA community reached out to you. If not there is an online meeting at 8pm EST at http://www.intherooms.com. It’s very easy to set up an account there and join in the meetings. It is free to join and participate in all meetings etc there.
CA SIN O sin is dead in the middle of casino. Or should I say sin is fully alive in the middle of casino. I am addicted to compulsive Gambling and the first drink of alcohol starts the well know spree. Drunk. Driving around trying to find a video poker place or casino that will give me My God Damned money back. Those bastards just won’t give it to me. They turn the machines off when they see me. Is what I tell myself. Insanity. Right now I’m waiting to see if I have enough money left after I pay my taxes. To go win my money back. Last Saturday was my last bet and drink. My hope is to begin recovery here and now. I pray for us all..
Thank you for sharing your recovery! I am new to GA as of today, not new to AA but throwing away 17 years in recovery to find another addition has been devastating. Looking for support, thank you all for your honesty and comments.
I have been a compulsive gambler for 40 years. I make great 6 figure yearly but always broke a d borrowing from wife and friends. Pay them back and borrow more never ending story looking for a good rehab. I have been so er and in AA for 10 years. Help
I absolutely relate to what you are saying…the part about wanting to be with “my people especially.”
Thanks for your post, Atticus
I’m Dixie. I’m fresh off the machine. I’m on disability and and have little money yet I started gambling. I’d win, then put it back in. I’d gamble my last dollar away. I just recently realized I have a gambling problem. I won 600 the other night, then lost it. I have a strong urge to go win it back but I’m flat broke. And besides I want this addiction treated, so here I am. I read here that I’m not alone. Before I gamble again, I’d like to hang out here one day at a time. I have a strong desire to stop gambling. I’m glad to be here and today I haven’t gambled. For that I’m grateful. I’d like to work these steps and I’d like to meet other gamblers that can relate to me. Please help me by becoming my friend. I need friends. Lots and lots of good friends.
I have always gambled. When I was 9 years old I would collect the money for my mother at her card table. She would usually have at least 2 tables of tonk going and needed someone else to collect money at one of them. I had a brother and sister but my mother always chose me because she believed I was the most honest. There needed to be at least 5 people at the table to play. As I got older, if there was not enough people to play, I would then sit and be the 5th person. This was the start of my gambling issues. My whole family gambles. They play the lottery, they play tonk, poker, black jack, bingo, and go the casino. Over the years, I’ve done all those things too. Now, however, I exclusively like losing my money (or someone else’s) at the casino. I am 49 years old and I have been gambling since I was nine. I have said on more than one occasion that I’m out of control Tonight I was compelled to reach out because I’ve been gambling all evening on borrowed money. When I gamble, I lose all the money I have on me or have access too. I know it’s a problem but I can’t seem to quit. It’s all around me!!! I’ve actually gotten in a few arguments with family members because they’ve noticed I have a problem and are urging me to get some help. I get upset because they have a problem too, but I suppose mine is much worse than theirs. I am too embarrassed to go to a meeting and was hoping to at least start to resolve my gambling issues in an online forum. Please help!
I am having similar issues as you. I just hide it but I won’t be able to hide it much longer if I don’t stop.
How do you sign up for the online Wednesday night GA meeting?
Atticus,
Thanks for your honesty. I certainly understand that addiction can be harmful not only to you but to those around you as well. I am 49 and have a gambling problem, literally, since I was 9 years old. I know that sounds crazy but it is true. I am at this moment, over the top with my addiction. I am reaching out to start into a program that will help me control this beast. I thought about going to GA several times, however, I was never really serious about it. I have gambled all my life and have not felt the way I feel tonight. I feel useless, worthless, and downright stupid. I know I have to get help with this addiction before it kills me.
I am a compulsive gambler. I know that I use gambling as an escape from stress.
For many years, I avoided compulsive gambling but when we moved to a state with four casinos within 30 miles from home, I slowly began going out to “have fun”.
When our grown daughter and her family moved in with us, I saw firsthand that her family was dysfunctional in the stress that accompanied dealing with the problems made it easy to use gambling as an escape.
I came from a violent, dysfunctional family and worked hard for the first 50 years of my life to work on my own dysfunctions.
I realized that I was vulnerable to addiction and avoided the trap of drugs and alcohol. I was fortunate enough to come to grips with my temper and even managed to quit smoking.
I don’t want to be a gambler. I am grateful for the online group as I work to address the addiction.
I looked up the closest meeting but it is 35 miles away and goes right past a big casino. I can’t trust that I won’t go gambling after a meeting so I really appreciate this forum.
Such an irony that at the age of 63, I succumbed to this addiction. I am ashamed of my compulsion and don’t want to continue.
I am searching for a counselor and appreciate the opportunity for online help.
Nancy, I can identify with a lot of what you say. I am 58 years old. I do not know if the four Casinos in your area have Exclusions forms. From what I understand all Casinos do. I have excluded myself from the Casino in my area in NY. When I was gambling I was going there so much and someone told me about the Exclusion form. I got the form on the Casinos website. I filled out the form, got the form notarized.and mailed it with a copy of my license.
Nancy, I can no longer set foot on the premises of that Casino. I chose the five year option. They also had one year and three years. Whatever you prefer.
My advise on self banning from casinos is choose the lifetime ban. Otherwise, you’re shutting a door and leaving a window open. We are compulsive gamblers. I chose the lifetime ban 15 years ago at the Indiana casinos. Recently, I chose a lifetime ban at Jack’s casino in Cincinnati, Ohio. I know that I have no control over slot machines and a lifetime ban was the only way for me to go. If you ban yourself from cadinos, ask them if they have facial recognition cameras. Jack’s in Cincinnati has these cameras. A member of one of our groups was arrested and charged with 2 counts of criminal trespassing, 1) the day they caught and arrested him, and 2) for the time they recognized him on camera but he left before they could arrest him.
Hil , i am 77 years old and so sisk of glambers, i get my money 1 of the month and by the 2 or 3 l got no more, i am so lost, i need help, thanks,,,
Hi Larry. Do you know if there are Gamblers Anonymous meetings in your area?
I’m in the same boat as you Larry.m I try to attend as many meetings a week that I can. At times, I’m so busy with grandkids that I am too exhausted to attend meetings. I am very interested in the Wednesday night online meeting.
I would like to find out about your Wednesday night meeting how do I join ?
I would like information for times of on line meetings ,i live in Phoenix,Az.
Hi Nancy. If you go to http://www.intherooms.com you will find a full list of all their meetings there.
This is not the “In The Rooms” meeting information: but I want you to be aware of another option:
Gambler’s Anonymous has a Wednesday conference call meeting. This meeting is NOT designed to replace a physical meeting, but is meant to fill in the gaps between regular meetings.
From the information flyer: “We hope you can attend to be able to reflect your experience
to others in the program. While a phone meeting isn’t meant to replace a physical meeting, it’s a great addition to a recovery program.
This is a weekly open topic meeting; only those who are compulsive gamblers, those who believe they have a gambling problem at their first meeting and those who have a desire to stop gambling
will be allowed to speak.”
Call: 712.770.4160
Conference ID: 611704#
The phone meeting is held from 8:00 p.m. – 9:30 p.m. Central time. Call up to 15 minutes prior to the meeting start time.
hi,
im Jason..my “clean date” for G.A is December 3rd 2016.
is this meeting still taking place?
After four years of gambling I just came to terms with this. I get my check each month and after paying my bills and buying food I take whats left abd head to the casino. Im smarter than this, I gamble away every last penny. This is sad because I really cant afford this.I really need help. Im not happy, I think I use this as a form of escape.I want to escape my life. I dont like it here. Im not happy with my life as it is and since my wife passed away two years ago, Ive really gone off the deep end.
After Im done I really hate myself, I call myself a loser, idiot, stupid sh**. I know Im not any of those things. I tell myself Im going to make money and then of course I lose. Leaving myself broke, some bills unpaid, wanting to sell everything I own, so I can maybe win some of my loses back. Im truly heartbroken on so many levels.
I feel so alone in all this, If I had family around me I think it might be different. Or maybe it wouldnt. I want not to be alone, this seems to be my only form of escape. My family has no idea, they just think Im broke all the time. Im tired of barrowing money,I dont want my belongings anymore. Im not confortable where I live. Last month after losing my money, I was so depressed, I grabbed a rope and went off to do the deed.I see all these things as cries for help.I even went and told everyone goodbye on facebook.
HI Robert. I’m so sorry you’re having such a tough time. I really would urge you to check out his meeting and seek help in your local area. Gambling is a tricky addiction to deal with but there is help. All addiction is multi dimensional so seeking a therapist may help also. I wish you all the best in your recovery. Please don’t give up on yourself.
I understand buddy I’ve been clean off drugs for 18 months now and can barely pay my rent due to gambling and it’s fucking destroying me and I know it will lead me back to drugs and I will use and die!!!!!! The gambling sucks and I feel the same inside as I did on the drugs
I don’t know what to do I have been gambling heavy for 4 years. I spent at least 100k in 4 years of our limited retirement fund. My husband doesn’t know. This all started when he was diagnosed with brain cancer. I have to stop. I can’t hurt him. Or myself anymore. I’m so afraid what will happen if he found out. Physically and emotionally. Some days i think of just killing myself. I don’t think I’m seriously suicidal but i think about it often. Especially after a day like today. I had 2100$ went to casino. Took another 1000! Out of bank. Came home with 1100$. That being said in the last two weeks I’ve easily lost 5,000$. I am insane. My biggest issue is we have a beloved vacation cabin that has a casino. I don’t gamble at home even though one is only 1 hr away. I used to have terrible problem there too but decided i didn’t want to go so. I don’t. Why is it impossible here on vacation? I can’t sell this place and i can’t stop coming because it’s our family place. We come about 5 times a year for 2 weeks. So 10 weeks a year i am out of control. Hubby takes 300$ and if he loses 100 he wants to leave. Or he will take me because he doesn’t want to give his money away. The concept escapes me. I’m so lost. I’m so lonely. I’m so ready to just have it all be over.
Hi Libby I am in recovery for gambling and our stories are very similar and its a battle daily. If you would like a friend to speak with or chat, email, whatever I encourage you to write me. Anything we share can help each other. You need to join a group and have a sponsor or friend to help when its tough. I am hear and there are many others I drive a rig for my work so I am in recovery via online meetings I will be happy to share
I have a similar story. I see your post was from a couple years ago. Are you still in recovery? I’m just starting…
Hi Libby
I can identify with you in almost everything you have done.i urge you to get to a g.a meeting asap.there are so many different meeting out there and they run every day and night. If you look up gamblers anonymous meetings it will show you exactly where they all are and what times they start. No human power will stop you.,you have to except you are beat and have the strength and desire by yourself,only you can change this if you really want it. There is a life beyond your wildest dreams out there when you take that first step.im a former gambler.i gambled most of my whole life.i never thought in a million years I could quit until I was introduced to g.a. I’m free of a bet now for a number of days and believe me my life has turned right around for the best. I go holidays every year with my friends. I go out eating with friends and more importantly I have my family back who I share a lot of quality time with today. Money couldn’t buy what I have today.peace of mind,serenity,contentment and a good nights sleep.im a millionaire with love all around me today,it’s priceless.i wouldn’t change it for the world.i didint get it all by chance,it came with great effort ,desire and More importantly willing.i hope this helps you Libby and don’t hesitate to ask me anything if you feel the need to.i would be more than happy to assist you.all the best
Evelyn.
I am so disappointed with my self! I have loss thousands of dollars gambling! I pay my bills but almost all of the rest of my money goes to gambling! I have gone to GA meetings in the past! I convinced myself that I was not as bad as the other people in the groups. I have been sober for many years’ I continue to ask God to help me and He does, then I forget how bad it was the last time and I am off and running again! I saw a family member who gambled away everything and is now homeless living in a shelter! I almost cried when I heard this. Now I realize this can be my story if I don’t stop! Thank you all for sharing ! Let’s pray for each other!
I am a SA counselor and would like the link got online meetings. Ty
Hi, and thank you for your interest. If you go to http://www.intherooms.com, you will find a whole host of meetings to choose from. Best Regards. Nicola.
Hi ill start out by saying i am addicted to everything i think i have about 8 months clean from drugs but still cant shake gambling my father would take me n my brothers to Atlantic City almost every weekend and taught me to play when i was around 6 and i loved it immediately my mother was addicted to meth and died when i was 10 so drugs came later for me but what i loved most about drugs is that i could be awake longer to stay in the casino longer its been out of control for years now i lost my child my house and im currently getting it together new job in a sober house but started gambling again giving away every paycheck looking for help anyone willing contact me please thank you
I hear you very similar situation only I’m in Boston and I got off the drugs 18 months ago and now I’m a degenerate gambler and it’s fucking horrible and I know I will relapse on the drugs if I keep gambling
GM, I’m new to this group. I have been gambling for many years, each time I never thought I had a problem cause when I felt short on bills my father was there to help. It would get so bad when my kids was young I would take their toys and pawn them for money to gamble. I still didn’t think I had a problem… now my kids are grown and I’m still have a problem!!! I lost a job I was on for 18yrs so with no income I shouldn’t be gambling but guess what everytime I get a little change Im gambling , lying to my other half about bills I’m paying when I’m not taken that money gambling!!! Saying I didn’t get paid this amount causing I’m taken money to gambling…. it once was going to the convent store to play the machine but now I’m on line which make it easier more available harder to stop…. depression then I drinking because I’m in a stress mode from trying to forget all my problems…. how to work through these problems HOW!!!!!!
I read over 30 yrs ago. that most gamblers go to punish themselves. It was in physcoligy today….so i didnt gamble after a blackjack game got my whole paycheck. it was only 110 bucks but all the money i had. I was mad. and didnt gamble for like 25 yrs. and my friend would go lose his money to slots. and lottery and all the loser games. about 10 yrs ago i got in a semi and would stop at a casino to park and sleep and get some food, and play a little. have a couple beers, and be around people. I was lonely. more than i needed the game. Had 200 players cards from all over usa. i took them home and shingled a bird house. I wish i would of kept a record from first bet until now….so i could be perfectly honest with myself. But , we all know..i am way behind…..Casinos mostly win. and if i would get ahead, go back another day, and donate it back. so i havent been in a casino since this virus began back in march 2020. I miss it less each day. Drove up around one a couple weeks ago, and thought , if they had 500 waiting for me inside. would i take the chance of getting the virus to go get it. and the answer was flat NO! And on days i broke even i felt like i won, and if i dont go. i break even. so i win by staying away. They win most of the time…they have to. or they would go out of business. It is simple….ya cant win, so why play. I believe most of their customers are just plain lonely. and the seniors like myself make up am ‘a huge part of the bread and butter of their day times. I pray every night for those still suffering from any addiction.
am thankful i didnt gamble for the last 9 months…..I like not punishing myself.
I need help for my gambling addiction badly. Is this meeting still going on every Wednesday? And if not is there any online meetings anywhere? My area doesn’t have physical meetings at all.
I am new to GA – Looking for a FEMALE Sponsor and a Home group to get plugged into
I am new to GA – Looking for a FEMALE Sponsor and a Home group to get plugged into Please PM ME if you are
wanting to connect or know of sponsor
I’m sitting in a Safeway waiting for the stores to close. I have a check to cash and bars close at 11:00 here in colorado. At this time I will not have any money left to spend. For the most part. I have $3 a Time and I think that I will be okay. I’ve been known to throw away money before just to not get that high. I get a physical emotional high that makes me shake until I spend all my money. I can when $400 only to spend it off within an hour. High stakes rolling of $15 a piece.
Like I’m slowly losing it. 6 minutes to go. I’ve enjoyed reading the posts.
I am a wife of a gambler. Married 39 years.
My husband has an addiction to the lottery. I see no posts regarding lottery alone. He doesn’t go to casinos ( ok..that I know of).
He doesn’t think he has an addiction. He does. $1000 in 3 weeks. I found txts from the owner of a party store that he has become ‘friends with’. The owner will play my husband’s numbers for him and txt him what he owes him when he can’t get to the store physically. I confronted my husband in a gentle way ( no argument or voices raised).
Since then, he has his phone glued to him.
I ask any and all of you. What am I to do as a spouse?
My husband skims from grocery money, puts lottery on credit cards, will not produce receipts as a check and balance system.
I am new to the program. I do have a problem and I do accept responsibility for my action. With Covid around, not sure of any meeting is being scheduled. Please help. Thanks!
I am new here. Never thought I would have to feel as low as I do to stop my gambling addiction. It started out innocent enough, but I guess that is the same for everyone on here.
Addictive personality is what I have and have known this about myself so how could I let gambling take me to my lowest low ever? I wish I knew, then I wouldn’t be on here joining others who like me, want it to stop.
My poison is slot machines. I preferred going into a casino vs playing on my phone with pretend money.
I like to explain the sound of the machines as a worm in my brain. A worm that grew and grew like a tapeworm. Eating slowly over the past few years until it was as big as me.
Wednesday April 13th was the last time I gambled. I left the casino $5,000 down. The $5,000 I borrowed to pay my IRS bill. Now, I had a real problem, and I knew I was done. I called my 30 year son who has been sober for 9 years. As I drove home in the dark with rain and wind hitting my windshield I cried to my son and said “I need help”. He assured me that everyone loved me, that they were here for me. I wanted to run myself into a semi. I didn’t want to go home, I didn’t want to face the music. Forty five mins of driving I pulled in the garage and my son pulled me out and told me he loved me. My husband came to the garage after hearing commotion and said what is wrong? I had to tell the man I have been married to for 38 years that I let him down and I let everyone down. We talked into the night. I called GA hotline. I took any type of games off my phone and told my family it was time I was accountable.
People knew I like to go to casinos. But nobody knew I was there as often as I was. My family didn’t know……I was what I call a closet gambler.
I entered the Voluntary Exclusion Program in my state. I started my steps and I haven’t had the urge to gamble, yet. I know it is coming. I know the worm wants fed but I am hoping and praying I can stay strong.
To watch my son carry every gun from our home because he was so afraid I would use one on myself. I didn’t have the heart to tell him, I wouldn’t use a gun. I am too anal about a clean home. Instead he should be worried about the pills I have kept because that is how I would end the madness if it was something I wanted to do. I don’t feel that way right now, I feel like I have help and I feel like I am taking one minute at a time, one hour, one day. I hope those turn into one week, one month, one year into a lifetime of being free from the worm of addiction.
I have not gambled in 3 weeks. I don’t think most of my family loves me anymore.
I have stolen all my mom’s dad’s n brothers jewelry, my dad’s coin collection, some Avon collection mugs, old antoque toys n games, my brothers Atari n 50 games, all his trading cards, well basically anything worth money. I even so
Sold my phone. I own nothing of value anymore.
Jail, mental health lock up or death became my only choices.
I too struggle with suicide, alone. Every day for months has been a struggle from me to want to stay alive.
My journey to freedom from this devil has just begun, but if you ever need someone to listen I will be here. Sometimes that’s all we need at the moment.
You have just described what I am going through. I’m also looking for an out.
I can’t stop playing VLT’S
I’m glad to be able to get to at least read post & comments from others who have gambling problems I understand how it has taken me & others so long to face it I know that I have to take responsibility for what I do & I’m doing it with God’s grace & love because I know that I have to have help & seek guidance from my higher power for me & many other people that is our Lord Jesus Christ because we have no doubt that though our Lord Jesus Christ all things are possible I can & will make sure that I become a better person than I was before I have to because I can’t even make myself go anywhere near a game again I don’t ever want to hurt the people who mean the most in my life that have believed in me & stood by me in thick & thin parts of my life & who I trust & love & who I am certain that love me too 100% beyond any & all shadows of doubt my chosen family my very best friend my Mom & best friend after my Mom is Carolyn she has always been a Sister to me & tries to watch out for me & that is my support group & my reason to get up & keep trying to be a better person each & everyday of my life & I know that when God decides to take them home I have the strength with his help to just keep doing the right thing each day so that I can get to see my chosen family again & I will not let the devil bring me back down with him again I am a child of God & I am better than that I know exactly how amazingly blessed I truly am & where I came from I will never stop fighting the good fight for the best version of who I was meant to be in life & beyond.
Thank God!
Amen & God bless you all
Thank you for all of these stories. Today is my first day of Quitting Gambling which is destroying me. I need help.
Hoping you have been able to stick with it Yolanda. Just starting my journey.
I am a compulsive gambler. I first started when as an escape from stress when my husband left my daughter and I. I was got heavily addicted and went to ga and was cool for two years and then one day on my birthday I decided to try my luck and that was it. Second time around is a booger, it is worst than the first time. My retirement is gone. I need help. College fund gone. I feel horrible.
It is good to read these posts. Accepting responsibility for my actions and praying to change my course before it gets any worse than it has been. Using online gambling as an escape from my life’s stressors and things I can’t control, only to realize this is now one thing I am unable to control. Losing all of my personal savings and any respect I had for myself.
Tomorrow will be my umpteenth attempt to stop this madness.
Didn’t make the week. Not this time. Will start again tomorrow. Must find a way to handle stress, anxiety and disappointment without resorting to gambling, which just increases all of the above. I will do this, I owe it to my family, and more importantly, I owe it to myself. For all of us struggling, don’t give up.
I have had a gambling problem for over a decade now. It has caused me to do things I never in my life would even think of doing…the guilt of my behavior is there..but it isn’t enough to stop myself from doing it again. I have taken money from jobs…repeatedly…trying to make back MY money that I’ve lost…only to lose their money too. I have been charged with a felony. I have gone without electricity. I have pretended to be romantically interested in someone just so they would help me dig myself out of my financial mess…only to dig myself right back in. I just left my husband who also has a lot of issues..there was so much violence and chaos in our marriage…I feel like a lot of it is due to my addiction. Now I have our 3 year old daughter…we live in a camper on my father’s property…I don’t have a car…I had to have my father help me get a job due to my THEFT charges….and what have I started doing again? GAMBLING!!! Trying to win enough money to help get my daughter and I in a better place…I have literally been away from her 50 hours a week working to THROW IT AWAY!! What kind of mother am I!I!? What kind of PERSON am I!!? I’m labeled a THIEF!! Before this started I had never even taken a piece of bubble gum as a child…gambling has turned me into a monster and I don’t know how to go back to who I REALLY am!! So sorry for the long rant…I just haven’t ever been able to say these words out loud to anyone. I hope this community will help us…my baby deserves it.
Hi Im wondering where the link for this meeting appears? Is it on this site on the night of the meeting?