my daily reflections…

ive been around long enough to have watched the hope in others die as they succumbed to their alcoholism. soon afterward, they themselves perished via the means of a bitter end. lookin at the way i drank and the reasons i did, i understand today that i am not any different than they. the times i tried to outsmart and overthink the drinkin i did, hopin against all to finally beat it alone, and only failin miserably, i can only imagine the fate that awaits me if i dare let my spiritual malady step in. alcohol, to me, was an answer i sought without regard to myself or anybody else. after i took it into my body, i could not tell ya what would happen next. the reason was because it worked. it worked to take me away from the reality of life with which i hadnt an answer that was sufficient enough to give me peace of mind. for me to think that i wont let alcohol try to fulfill that role again in my life if i lose the desire to let the spiritual principles of recovery work, is a fools game, my game. i aint tryina go mad, onto the bitter end as ive seen others. i understand these things today because of the personal inventory ive done. its not always easy to do, but it is what makes me self-aware. if i dont know im doin somethin wrong, i cant work toward fixin it. personal inventory affirms the right or the wrong within my character. as long as i stay in recovery for the right reasons, i get an awesome opportunity at the coolest life imaginable. i aint gotta find myself in an either/or, black/white, now/then, always/never land, i can use what ive learned from others in recovery in my own recovery to grow away from the next drink. when i can be honest with myself about what i find in a personal inventory, whether i like it or not, i have an opportunity to give it up to my HP so i can move on with a life of further hope. i can use the truth i find as a very sharp knife, i can use it for good, or i can use it to hurt others or myself. bringin my HP into the equation, helps me use it for the betterment of my life. faith is my greatest gift, when i share what i find with my HP, my sponsor, or trusted friends in recovery, i get to grow in my greatest responsibility to self, self-love. alcohol dont stand a chance then. 1 day @ a time...