my daily reflections…

i cannot recall clearly this mornin if immediate forgiveness was thought of after i had completed my tell of the discoverys i found in my 4th step to my sponsor. i do recall talkin about it with him. but as far as an immediate or astoundin feelin within to forgive all i thought had caused me harm, i do not remember. as my time in recovery progressed and my sponsor and i had talked more in depth about my findins later, then gainin an understandin of how i could heal even further from the harm i had experienced, i could sense within how forgiveness could help me heal and advance in my journey of recovery. havin been able to learn what forgiveness can do, be, and mean, to me since my introduction to it, ive been blessed with an ability to use it to help free me from the character that used to keep me bound to a life of fear, anger, and resentment. forgiveness has helped me develop an attitude within that it is ok for me to be me. its helped me use understandin in a givin manner instead of an expectation of others toward me. forgiveness frees me from resentment, my most dangerous character defect. its helped me to develop healthy boundaries for everyone i interact with. it allows me the comfort of lettin others be who they are. it has made me aware that others are my equal and can be just as successful or fallible as i. it taught me how to use discipline to check my own actions and thinkin, so i may modify my behavior when i sense it goin awry. its taught me how an amends can be beneficial to others and myself. ive learned how to trust me so i may evolve trust in, and for, others. it helped me understand how there is a stark contrast between 2 steppin and 12 steppin. its helped me to recognize things that fear, anger, and resentment could have never allowed me to see. from forgiveness, one of the biggest and best gifts beside removin doubt, and the items mentioned, ive learned how to forgive myself so i may give it and receive it. with the habit of daily prayer and an ability to offer forgiveness, i find the strength and hope i need to live in my own skin within the world around me. forgiveness provides me with a certainty that by havin God as my companion i get to remain recoverin and livin a spiritual experience that gives me awareness. 1 day @ a time...