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My body is ravaged

My soul is torn

I have smothered my spirit

My mind is clouded

My heart full of shame

And I shake with fear

Can I keep trying to start over

& begin again & again

What must it take for me to get off this ride

Will I even be able to survive

My foundation has crumbled I cannot lie

My prospects seem unreachable

Is this how I will die

My tears seem never to dry

I cry out for forgiveness

It’s me who turns away

I have no one & nothing but my ability to pray

Is it worse to feel nothing

Or far too much

I long for serenity for longer than a day

Have I passed the point too far

Or am I just in time

I don’t know if this choice is just mine

I ask for Angels to surround me but I know they never left

It was me, always me that abandoned myself



  1. Tammy / Pixie65 Reply

    DANG! That was awesome! I didn’t want it to end!

    How true is it that we can so easily give up on ourselves, the one we should fight hardest for!

    Thank you for sharing that! I am a HUGH angel person, so I envisioned that part of it!

    • TL Nunnery Reply

      Thank you! It was so personal and written from the heart during a particularly low moment. I’m so glad it resonated with you. Being stuck in the “frequency of addiction” (Tommy Rosen, Recovery 2.0) is so painful, vicious and truly insane!
      It wasn’t an easy decision to share but I know that’s how we help one another & never give up….

      I’m so blessed to know that it can and does get better if we work for it! One day at a time.

      Love & Light,

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