Why Shouldn’t We Laugh?!

“…why shouldn’t we laugh? We have recovered, and have been given the power to help others…”  p. 132 Alcoholics Anonymous Big Book

Many people think that giving up drugs and alcohol are a sure pathway to becoming some old boring fuddy duddy with no friends, no fun and no laughter in their lives. The truth however, is actually quite the contrary. I never laughed as hard as I have – nearly hyperventilating mind you – anywhere else than at an AA meeting. Things just come out raw and unedited when people share from their hearts.

Fact is stranger than fiction, that’s for sure. You just simply can’t make the stuff up. I had the pleasure of listening to an old-timer, we’ll call him “Jack.” The ol’ farm boy told the room that he literally walked to school uphill everyday both ways, in the snow, with no shoes when he was young. The room roared with laughter, even though it was an old joke. Yet coming from the wise and sage Jack, it somehow sounded different.

The expression on his face in response to the rooms’ reaction, exuded joy. But he wasn’t trying to be funny. Jack was sober longer than most of the room had been alive. His share was an attempt at telling us he grew up poor, and struggled through many hardships. He witnessed three wars, was married and divorced several times and had hit the bottle hard throughout his life. And boy did it hit him back. Of course that level of misfortune is not funny and I’m in no way making light of Jack’s story, but Jack like many of us learned to find humor in his struggle.

Jack continued his share, explaining that whichever path you take to get there (happiness) you must drop the baggage of your past right where you are and move on.  Once you do, you create new space in your life and within you that slowly fills up with friends – real friends. You have real conversations with people, exchange lots of hugs and smiles, love and laughter.  “Wow! Are you kidding?” Exclaimed Jack – “Most of us are just grateful we lived long enough to tell our tale and still possess the mental faculties to do so.” The room erupted in laughter again.

And he’s right! Most people find the high-jinx situations some of us recovering alcoholics got ourselves into completely unbelievable. In fact remembering some of our own stories baffle us once we get sober and sane. It appeared at times that we had nine-lives. Our drive for excitement, need for speed and adrenaline rush led us to do some pretty crazy stuff. Thankfully roller coasters do it for me these days.

I remember my first few meetings in early recovery.  My distorted perception led me to see nothing but a bunch of depressed people whining about their problems.  I was in a very dark place. Staring back at me in the mirror was a broken person who needed to change or die. Slowly, as I integrated into the group, I found myself surrounded with people who appeared to be comfortable in their skin, not afraid of being who they are and seemed to laugh at themselves quite a lot.

All that happiness and exposing themselves made me feel uneasy. I couldn’t possibly allow everybody to see me completely unveiled, my thick exterior defenses removed. How was I ever going to stand naked before this crowd? Eventually confronting my fear, guilt and sadness freed me to become my true self. Slowly the confusion about who I am disappeared. I realized I had been focusing on all the wrong things.  I constantly saw the problem rather than the solution and blamed others instead of finding out what I needed to do to change.

Eventually it came time for me to tell my story.  I stood at the top of the room feeling very exposed. Anxiety rose up inside me. Would I be able to speak about myself in front of all these people about my life? I then remembered that old trick from public speaking class. Instead of me feeling completely stripped down, I imagined the other members naked! That certainly lightened my worry and I broke into an unstoppable fit of giggles.

As time went on, I finally understood that an important part of service work is to let others see that we are “not a glum lot” and that there is plenty of fun to be had.  AA’s are some of the most outgoing people I have ever met. We are from all walks of life and have traveled many roads – and we share all of our experiences.

I often recall that moment of uncontrollable laughter when I’m feeling a little low. It only takes a small reminder of something funny I experienced to set me off again. I always have an opportunity to let laughter lighten my burdens if I just remember not to take myself so seriously – and I learned that in AA.