The past month has been laden thick with dread as I wake in the morning, assuming I have slept at all that is. In my immediate life, all is safe and well, yet outside that invisible boundary it feels unsafe and dark.
I am suspicious of anyone I do not know right now and even those I do know warrant some investigation. All is not what it seems. Or perhaps what I am observing is vivid true colors in their putrid palette and nothing before was what it seemed. How are you coping with the real reality?
Words do not match actions. People who I thought were pillars of society and humanity have shapeshifted into daemons. Their faces, no longer pictures of health and good living, no. Masks have slipped and revealed rancid rotting figures hell-bent on death and destruction. I see you.
Everything seems frivolous and pointless. Faces walking towards me on the street seem flat and detached. What are they thinking? The same as me? Bodies carrying briefcases, shopping bags full of food, and tiny hands held extra tight, shuffle along rigid and accusing. I can almost hear the sound of their hearts beating above the car engines on the street. Life is now unfathomable.
Oh, the world heaves with grief and disgust. Guilt weighs down heavily as we acknowledge our ignorance. Our brains scream with recognition of their decades of washing by the men at the top. How could we not have seen?
My faith is gone and now I pray to nothing, for surely my prayers and yours, have reached something unholy. Look around and see what your prayer has produced – hell it seems, in a civilized world.
I am in the mood for nothing, and I won’t be for a very long time.