Blog by 7GensDeb
There’s a story about a man that loved ham. He would slice off each end of the ham before placing it in the oven to cook. One day, his wife asked him, “Why do you cut the ends off the ham before you cook it?” The man replied, “That’s the way my Grandma always did it.”
A short time later, the couple was visiting Grandma. Curious, the couple asked her why she cuts off the ends of the ham before cooking it. Grandma smiled and said, “Well, when I was a young wife and mother, my oven wasn’t very big. The ham was big, in fact too big. I had to cut off the ends so it would fit in the oven! She laughed. I don’t have to do that anymore. My oven is plenty big enough to fit the ham in now!”
I love this story. I use it as a reminder in my own recovery. I also refer to it when looking at the way things are done, in many situations. How often do we do things because, “that’s the way we have always done it?”
I don’t readily accept that response anymore. It is important to question and to look deeper. This story supports me in this.
I am definitely one of those people that doesn’t like change. I find change unsettling. Change takes me out of my comfort zone. It’s unfamiliar and new territory. I will refuse to change for all of these reasons, repeating patterns of behavior that range from silly and unproductive to unhealthy and even dangerous.
When I take the time to check things out, I usually find some valuable information. Either I discover that the reasoning for things being done this way or that made sense then, but not now.
Sometimes I discover things have changed. Oh, how I can dig in and resist growing and changing too.
I am grateful that I have more courage and willingness now to look at why I do things today, especially when I am doing or experiencing something and my gut or intuition is giving me those cues that something is quite right.
Sometimes, I try to put my blinders on. I don’t want to do the work or check things out. I don’t want to risk the possibility of embarrassment or being criticized for challenging old ways, and wanting to consider new ways. I have to laugh at myself as I write this because usually the result of this attempt to avoid stuff inevitably results in the Unviverse smacking me upside the head! The world has a way of repeating my lessons until I surrender and do the work.
It isn’t easy to challenge old beliefs and ways of doing things. I am grateful that I have the fortitude to do so today – most of the time.
So, I don’t cut the ends off of the ham anymore. Ham is to darn expensive. It’s a lot like my journey in recovery.