Codependency – Other People's Business Addiction

The level of our mental health can be measured in the quality of our thoughts. Please allow me to ask you some questions about your thinking. - How often are you thinking, all day, most, some, a little? - What are you thinking about the most? - Do you have a number of things that have no answers, they never seem to become resolved? - How many of your problems involve other people? - Are other people doing things wrong? - Do you try to teach them, point out their mistakes? - How often do you talk about other people? - How often do you find yourself thinking about other people when they are not around, wondering about things they said, what they meant by it, whether or not they respect or understand you? Addiction = Attachment plus Obsession. Codependency is an addiction and what we obsess about is other people. It is a sickness, yet it is incredibly common and can become deadly like any other addiction. Ask Romeo and Juliet. I never found this answer in any 12 step group, I discovered it within myself. Once I understood that the building block of any addiction was obsession, I stopped and asked myself what does a codependent think about. I was sad to learn that I had been disturbing myself, thinking, worrying about, talking about and mostly complaining about other people. That is when we are at our sickest I believe, when codependents become chronic complainers and never learn to heal their own issues, they can be just awful to be around. I know I was and still can be at times. It takes a great deal of restraint for me to be a sponsor when I am codependent. I practice detachment and taking a lesson from ACA, I talk back to the child in my mind that wants to wonder about other people when they are not around. I remind myself, what they are doing is none of my business and we will all be healthier if I focus on myself. I am still learning, yet I have enjoyed some great improvements in my codependent behaviors. As with any affliction, I need to keep working these traits through the steps and perform my daily maintenance routines. This is my fifth step for today. Thank you, bless you and best wishes. Rev. Jeff Rounds for Mixed Recovery, Inc.