This is quite difficult to admit to because it means I need to make a change. I promised to myself when I was about 14 yrs old that I would NEVER be like my father. I attend ACA meetings here on ITR. I learn about CEN (Childhood Emotional Neglect), I also learn about eating healthy and exercise. I read travel stories, psychology, Quora, relationships & the news. I listen to podcasts and audiobooks. Confession: I am an entertainment & info junkie. I think: Oh my kids don't need my attention, they are busy, my wife is busy with her things, I need to keep myself busy so I end up finding something of interest then investigating it thoroughly until something else takes my interest then it repeats over and over. And over. And deeply. I like to listen to podcasts by various doctors, usually medical doctors or phycologists. One medical doctor that I listen to seems also to be addicted to information. His podcasts are deep as are his emailed newsletters. I sometimes have thought, "He is so busy with various topics (each one deeply researched), how does he find the time for his wife and children? He talks about health and happiness, but is HE? Are THEY?" Then it hit me. I am repeating my father's behaviour. Being "inside my own head" reading and listening and watching ... and ignoring everyone around me, even though I am physically present. I thought that perhaps the doctor above schedules in time for his wife and each child. Maybe he doesn't. I don't know but I think that is what "I" need to do. I think I am an entertainment and info junkie. I think I need to stop this cyclic, compulsive, escapism-type behaviour masquerading as ... as ... what? I don't know the word. I think I need to make a change.
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19th October 2020. Hi! Thanks for stopping by. Please IF YOU ARE FEMALE, do not reply to my private messages. If I send you a private message, I am most probably acting out my desire for flirting & acceptance to "prove" I've "still got it" ... I can easily find genuine reasons to compliment you (likely related to your share) but really, you most likely appreciate anonymity and I have to learn not to seek acceptance this way ... I will look at friend requests however. I do not view friend requests necessarily as flirting on my part. Yours maybe :-) Sometimes I really do need to talk to someone who understands what it means to be in ACA or ACoA or live with Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN). Otherwise, I am happy to have found a bunch of people who are on the the same page

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