Hitting Bottom – For The Chronic Relapsers

My name is Jeff, I am an addict, alcoholic and codependent with PTSD and Bipolar Disorder in recovery. I want to share what I have learned in recovery with the people who are trying to get better and cannot seem to break the cycle. I have been in and out of recovery, I have been to 9 different therapists, I fought with the bottle for 35 years and never knew I had a problem with alcohol, until the last drink. I had a very soft bottom with alcoholism, but I had many bottoms leading up to it. After my last drink, I really understood that I have a problem and cannot and never will be able to control my drinking. It was a blessing that I was already attending Al Anon meetings and had no fear when I changed programs and joined AA. I knew recovery worked and was grateful that the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous was there to support me. After numerous conversations with addicts and alcoholics alike, there seems to be a common thread in all our bottoms. for the people who have completely taken the first step. There needs to be an "Ah Ha" moment, a shift in consciousness where we suddenly stop thinking about the fear of living without the comfort of escape, and become afraid to go on using. We need to lose the will to use completely, so we can recovery the will to live. There is a way, an exact thing we can do to get ourselves to this point. It involves applying the grieving process and realizing, alcohol is a depressant and we are using it to grieve. It does not work though, we cannot escape the thoughts and emotions that are building up inside. Sooner or later, we need to face the pain or die and if we have the desire to live then we must allow ourselves to be crushed. Each of us have an Ego, we are not our ego and this false idea of who we are is all an illusion. Ego is the collection of our emotional experiences and it becomes a false sense of sense, a wounded child carrying all of the hurt of our pasts. Cry. Cry as if there is no hope, cry and accept all the horrible thoughts you are having about yourself and life. Allow yourself to completely experience the anger and depression associated with failing to control your drinking or the circumstances of your life. Cry because life does not bend to our sense of fairness and it hurts when we experience loss. Allow yourself to cry, until there is nothing left to cry about in your life, you will come to accept the happenings you have experienced and gain the emotional intelligence needed to let go of your addiction. Have faith and let go of your illusion of control and If you are willing, the steps of recovery will replace your addiction with hope. I wish only good things for you. Please feel free to visit my company website for free recovery support. www.mixedrecovery.com