I WAS Wrong!

Oye Ve! Is about what I can think of when it comes to my latest mistake. I gave myself worth away for yes what I called safety. But If I'm an entertainer ( as I am ) then wasn't it for attention ? Well, yes and no frankly. When the teeth people says Cancer I jumped. I admit it. Felt hopeless and fearful so I jumped into a room full of folks who some of feed off my energy. I got hit again with my own freaking ego which I AM going to demolish sooner versus later. SOOO unbecoming of a man of god lolol. Wow Deb really? Guess what I saw today. i saw myself with dad's disease and dead. (he was 25 years sober dear ones!) I saw a natural chemical imbalance in my body from mom drinking and smoking cigarettes when she had me in 1969. I saw the matriarchy and the patriarchy both coming at me, and I won't choose one or the other. WE ARE ONE! I saw literal vampires and the good humans who have no clue what they are doing to themselves in here. I know you want to be famous. I did too (until lastnight) I give up my ego's need to perform even in truth for a limited belief system. I have to go. I saw the bad in the good and the good in the bad all at once. I saw US ALL spinning around in our egos here in order for big pharma and whomever ELSE is running this joint. (not ITR I Love ITR for I wouldn't have had the chance to help myself while watching my grandson early years... as well as offer the info I got to other people in the Complex Trauma group without their help. Amazing really this ride! It Is Indeed. Nightmares and there is only one person who knows the last dream I had because I don't dream Period. So the ones I remember are like woha! No comment. On that but I gotta say.. Even this blog writing is a way of performing. See what I mean, truth hurts sometimes and I feel it. I am such a HAM. You know. I admit it, out loud, in public, I was wrong to say to anyone that I was anything less than human (if any of the labels are going to be used from n ow on) I AM MORE than HUMAN! That is All.